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8.Have a discussion with your husband during a quiet time about anger.
Anger is especially detrimental to menís health. Contrary to popular opinion, it is NOT healthy to vent your anger, nor is it healthy to suppress it. Both of you need to work constantly on valuing being in relationship more than being right. When couples argue all time and create a toxic environment, no one wins, and no oneís ďrightĒ.
9. Donít notice so much, listen FOR love with your OWN love, and be adamantly and relentlessly forgiving.
Under pressures of todayís lifestyle, we all say things we donít mean. We get sloppy or weíre in a rush and blurt something out. We forget things. We get irritable.
Catch him doing something right and praise act. Donít spend so much time on negatives or youíll cause them to grow. Negotiate your ďmust havesĒ and ďcanít stands,Ē and beyond that, be willing to overlook a lot.
If he brings you coffee in bed in morning, you can pick up his underwear off floor occasionally.
10.Express yourself very clearly and very often.
Donít whine, beg, hint, guess, hope for best, or be tentative. This wonít work. Say specifically what you want, or what you donít like, and nip it in bud. The longer you wait, more of an issue it becomes. This applies particularly to your sexual relationship. Donít leave him guessing.
One bone of contention among many couples is that if you do it once, it becomes your job for rest of your life. So, if youíre adoring him so much one Sunday afternoon you decide to wait on him while he watches ball game Ė because kids are at Grannies, youíre caught up on your work and rested, you have some spare time, and youíre feeling like a temporary period of doting, explain what youíre doing.
Say, ďIím enjoying waiting on you this afternoon. Of course I canít do it all timeÖĒ
Make your expectations clear, ďIím enjoying waiting on you this afternoon. Please do this for me some time when you feel like it.Ē
If he does assume this has now become new routine Ė and itís only human nature to press for advantage when you have it Ė deal with it minute it comes up. Make it clear what your stand is.
Poor communication and low Emotional Intelligence lead to fighting. Fighting can slowly erode your relationship because itís all too easy to let something slip you wish you hadnít said, and canít take back. Or you fail to say something, and then resentment builds.
Fighting is bad for your health, individually, as a couple, and as a family. Studies have shown that couples tend to get sick after a big fight, because fighting with a loved one lowers your immunity.
Did you need another reason to get along with man you loved enough to marry?
Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . I coach around emotional intelligence for success, relationships, transitions, career, resilience, leadership, energy. Internet courses, ebooks. Mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org for free ezine.