-- Help you know whether you really want to stay in this relationship or move on

-- Help you discover what you really want in a relationship and whether you'll be able to have it in this relationship

-- Help you identify real issues going on in this relationship (they may not be what you think)

-- Help you understand communication challenges going on between two of you

-- Show you how way money is handled in your relationship may be causing major problems without you even knowing it

-- Tell you what to do if there's physical, emotional or sexual abuse going on in this relationship

-- Give you a new way of thinking about how addictions affect your relationship

-- Help you identify how patterns from your past may be unconsciously ruining your relationship right before your eyes Of course you'll have to judge for yourself value of information presented by Susie and Otto Collins, and whether their book "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" truly can help you make important decisions about your relationship. But since so much may be at stake, and an awful lot can be riding on you making a proper decision, it might very well be worth a few minutes of your time to check things out further. If you'd like more information about book "Should You Stay or Should You Go," you can find it at: http://www.firstworld.biz/external73.html

(Note: if above URL address isn't displaying as an active, clickable link, please copy URL and paste it into address bar of your web browser.) ================================================= Copyright 2005 Terry Mansfield. All rights reserved. Note: Anyone may publish this free content article online or in print as long as entire contents of article and accompanying resource box, including any hyperlinks, are left unaltered, and byline is included. This article should not be used in anything that could be considered spam. =================================================

From an emotional health perspective, dating while going through a divorce can be damaging to you and your "soon to be" ex-spouse. You'll be much more mature after divorce if you self evaluate to figure out how you contributed to events that lead to your divorce. Handling yourself in a caring and sturdy emotional manner during a divorce can be an extremely difficult thing to do...but, it is a terrific growing and learning process. Make use of it! Grow as a person and learn about yourself, and you'll be far better off after divorce is final.

Dating after divorce consideration 4: Consider that you may have a tendency to date someone completely opposite from your spouse and realize that this isn't healthy.

Dating after divorce is tricky! Be smart, realize that pain you may have felt at hands of your spouse can naturally lead you to want to date someone who is an opposite of your ex. It is a reasonable and natural reaction because you might want to avoid having any pain whatsoever or you may not want to deal with anyone who might remind you of your ex-spouse.

If you find yourself looking for someone who is your ex's opposite when dating after divorce, take a deep breath and ask yourself if this tactic is truly healthy for you. If you answer 'yes', then you're saying that there was nothing good about your spouse and that you're a poor decision maker or else you would have never gotten married to your ex in first place!

Instead, think of things you'd like to see in someone that would make you want to date them and look at person in and of themselves only. If you see something in them that reminds you of your ex-spouse, decide whether that something is a good trait or an undesirable trait. Only then can you decide about that person in positive fashion. Your spouse has or had some good traits, define what they are and don't be afraid to see those traits in someone that you are dating after divorce.

Dating after divorce consideration 5: Do what you need to in order to have a positive outlook on your future after your divorce.

When thinking about dating after divorce, and all possible fires that can go with it, keep in mind that you need to feel good about yourself to be lucid. A positive outlook on life is key to everything else, and all future decisions that you will make after your divorce. Go and do fun things with friends and get out! You should certainly keep your guard up but don't be overly critical of everything or you may get so paralyzed be your analysis that you never actually "get in game." Your frame of mind on any relationship - friend or not - after divorce is key factor to your happiness. Keeping a clear head and heart is a healthy thing. If you keep these considerations in mind, you'll have a much better time when dating after divorce.

Karl Augustine

Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", the eBook recommended by counselors to thier clients.

Deciding on Divorce