WHAT TO EXPECT

Expect things to make you angry. You want to hear is it's all a joke, it isn't happening, and anything short of that won't work.

That having been said, it's normal to:

·Feel like you're going nuts ·Cry a lot ·Have trouble making decisions ·Have no appetite ·Sleep too much or not at all ·Feel angry

WHAT CAN HELP?

* Don't isolate yourself. "Share your thoughts, vent your anger, or ask for help," says Submarine Wives Club. Check out their website ( http://www.submarinewives.org ) for support groups, and useful information. * Hire a coach. http://www.coachfederation.org * Develop your emotional intelligence; build resilience. * Focus on yourself and keep momentum going. Learn something new, develop a new skill. * Practice xtreme self-care - exercise, get massages, and eat right.

"A member of Simons' team approaches someone on street and asks for directions," says El-Hai. "As subject begins to speak, a crew of faux workers carrying a door abruptly squeezes between two. As door passes between them, person who asked for directions changes places with a third person." Again, 50% didn't notice they were giving directions to a different person.

Same thing happened when they had a waiter duck behind counter and a new waiter popped up. The diner kept on talking.

"We have limited attentional resources," concluded Simons. What we notice depends on how much else we're attending to, and this was true even when subject claimed to have great visual memory.

"Practical applications of Simon's work would be airline and highway safety," says El Hai. Scary thought.

Another application - watch it with cell in car! We have limited attentional resources.