How To Get What You Want...From The People You Want It FromWritten by Kathy Gates
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5. Successful communication focuses on one thing at a time. Be specific. If you are giving negative feedback, be direct about what problem is, stick to topic, and avoid dragging in other problems. Instead of telling your teenager that you've been proud of her attitude lately, compliment an exact time she was willing to do something without a fuss. Instead of saying "Hey Chuck, nice work on that project", try "Hey Chuck, I really appreciate you working so closely with XYZ Vendor to get that equipment delivered on time".
6. Successful feedback focuses on things individual can do something about. Feedback concerning matters that are out of individual's control is not useful. It only increases a person's frustration to be criticized for something they can't do anything about. Reprimanding your teenager for spending too much time on an assignment is unfair since she can't control her teachers' requests. Expecting your associate to write a business letter same way you would is impossible since he can't read your mind.
7. Successful communication offers solutions. When you must give negative feedback to someone, always focus on what corrective action they can take. Be willing to give them support and tools needed to correct situation. Discuss options, or explain rules and clearly define consequences. The objective of successful communication is to help person view information as an opportunity to learn, instead of a threat. By offering specific examples, you will be able to relate how changing his behavior will help him achieve his goal.
8. Try using "feedback sandwich". A feedback sandwich is a language tool that assists you in giving clear and specific messages in an acceptable way. Begin with a specific praise, then your constructive advice using tools above, then additional praise. It's very important that your acknowledgments be true about individual, not just general positive statements.
Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach, believes there is a more advanced form of motivation beyond the "gottas", "shoulds", and "havetos. Visit www.reallifecoach.com, email firstname.lastname@example.org, or call 480.998.5843 for a FREE consultation
Learning from the StarsWritten by Julie Jordan Scott
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what you have gleaned and using it. It contains a spirit of application so that we can integrate new skill into our life to increase our level of understanding. As we continue to discover new facts, as we continue to grow through new experiences, we invite others along for journey. We bring our world into a bright shiny new context. As each day dawns, it is ripe with possibilities. It is wanting to blossom. It is asking us to partner with it. For next week (or more) begin taking a written tally of what you are learning new each day. For example, this past Saturday I learned that Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star has five verses. I also learned that "Faust" was a drama written by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. Finally, I about a new program from my friend Cathy: a way to "send my books out into wild" thus regenerating their message through new readers. And this was all before Noon. Now you might think: "And who cares that Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" has five verses! Well, when I look at life through lense of Discovery, I think: "What areas in my life has verses that are yet unplayed? How might I discover those verses?" Or "What verses are my children singing every day that I am missing?" (You might put colleague, employee, spouse, best friend, neighbor in place of children). "What verses do I need to sing in order to get my big project complete?" Taking something simple like Twinkle, Twinkle and playing with it in this way really brings much more forward than is on surface. And joy is, when you are creating playfully, it will not take MORE of your time, unfolding will simply partner with you as you are doing whatever you were going to do anyway! Simply try this out. Commit to learning something new. Today.
Julie Jordan Scott is a Success Coach, Writer, Speaker, Radio Host and Mom Extraordinaire who inspires people worldwide to live more passionate lives through her personal and group coaching, teleclasses, seminars and free ezines. Subscribe to DailyPassionActivator now via email: mailto:DailyPassionActivator-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com or via web http://www.5passions.com/subpage.html