If they said something important you don't fully understand, look for hidden meaning. You do this by asking "What?" questions. Then vary it by asking "Why?" questions to determine difference in responses.

Find someone you admire and show them courtesy of listening. People love to be interesting, and if they have your full attention, they know you are listening. Guess what! If you are listening, they must be interesting!

*This is only one exercise on how to gain rapport from Jerry Richardson's excellent book, "The Magic Of Rapport." I will be writing more articles on Rapport through December.

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Copyright 2001, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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Task: Get specific. That proposal will take at least 12 hours to complete. What task are we going to accomplish on Saturday morning from 9:00 am to 10:00 am?

Procrastination: I'll figure that out on Saturday at 9:00 am.

Task: We'll eat up hour just brainstorming. Since I've already got your attention, why don't we just put down a roadmap right now. Say you're going to keep that Saturday morning block open every week. We estimate 12 hours for project, so that's about three months. Let's get a goal down for each of those Saturday morning appointments... What...? What?! What's wrong...?! You're shaking! Sweating...! A volcano about to...!

Procrastination: AAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!! Okay, okay, I confess! You win! I... I'm... I'm...GOAL-A-PHOBIC! Yes, yes, it's true! I'm quick to come up with grand plan, but i... im... imp... IMPTAYSUN! I can't bear it... I'm allergic to it! I can't even say it right.

Task: "Implementation." Now, now, take a deep breath. Don't get so down on yourself. Some of our projects have gone off magnificently. We've accomplished a lot together. It's just certain projects that you seem to get stuck on - like this proposal.

Procrastination: Well, face it. There's not a chance that proposal will get accepted. It's just wishful thinking. I don't want to go through all of that work and then have to go through rejection. And marketing part of it - who's going to get that done? Not to mention money we'll need to get it off ground.

Task: Fear. That's fear talking. You know we've done our research and I choose to believe for best outcome. We'll never know unless we start. And, we'll never start unless you stop speaking from fear. Now let's start getting that roadmap together. The goals need to be specific, written, engaging, attainable, and time-bound.

Procrastination: That's a lot to remember.

Task: They make up acronym S-W-E-A-T.

Procrastination: Ugh.

Task: That's...

Specific. If goal is too broad, we'll lose track.

Written, so that we can express in focused terms what needs to get done; and we can keep it in front of us.

Engaging, so that we are motivated, interested in project. There may be some steps that don't thrill us, but overall project must come from heart.

Attainable, so that we have peace with knowing that with a plan and some work, this project can become a successful reality.

Time-bound: You get what you measure. A goal is a dream with a deadline. Enough said. Let's go.

Hershey Wier, MBA, is a Personal & Professional Development Coach and Speaker specializing in career and life transitions. Visit http://www.HersheyWier.com For reprint permission - mailto:Mail@HersheyWier.com ==============================

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