| High OE Low EB< d> | Negative self-talk "I'm in wrong place" "I'm wrong person"< d> | Self-devaluation Despondency Self-pity Shame< d> < r> < able> Changing your attitude starts with an understanding of those four interactions, it works. Suppose we use an example to demonstrate how it works for you. Let's suppose you are faced with a situation or challenge. - your feeling is that you are not equipped to deal with it (low efficacy belief)
- but it is something that can be done (high outcomes expectancy)
- your assessment: "I'm wrong person" (self-pity, low efficacy belief), despondency and self-devaluation (negative self-talk)
Can you see how you develop your attitude? But, you want to know how to change your attitude, right? Easy! You begin by asking: - Does
 present attitude serve me well? - What is source of this attitude:
- Low OE High EB
- High OE High EB
- Low OE Low EB
- High OE Low EB
- Where do I need to make changes?
- Efficacy Beliefs
- Outcome Expectancies
- Do I have appropriate resources to effect change?
Four questions are all you need if you want to change your attitude. If, while you're reading this you find yourself thinking:"So what, I don't give a hoot!", ask yourself above questions. And do right thing. Remember, your attitude says something about your self-esteem, self-acceptance and self-affirmation!
Ke o agile is NLP Coach resident in South Africa. He is also an editor of In Thezone, an ezine for capacity builders in the personal and professional development areas. Currently In TheZone (http://inthezone.port5.com)boasts 8 916 readers. Ke o agile can be contacted at: keoagile@consultant.com , http://www.ryze.com/go/Keoagile or +27 82 349 9360
| | I'm Sorry But.........Written by graham and julie
Continued from page 1
When you lack confidence all world seems to be against you and you seem to get caught in a downward spiral. Just look at sportspeople when their confidence is low they stop winning, they stop being able to do what was second nature to them before. Frustration takes over and when frustration is master then world goes pear shaped. It becomes everybody else’s fault. It’s same with you. Confidence is key. But how do you get your confidence back? Usually either with someone believing in you and reminding you of your talents or by taking a good look at yourself and remembering what you are good at. Your strengths if you like. Then practice. Going back to training field and re-practicing all you strengths until they become second nature again. Do what Jane did. Put yourself in a position where you have to practice day in day out and gradually you will regain confidence in your strengths. It is strange but sportspeople accept that way to develop and grow is through practice but in everyday life we think that we can just get on with it. Let me give you an example. A few years ago Julie and I used to teach a meditation course. At beginning of course we would explain benefits of meditation and suggest that each person starts with five minutes in morning and if possible five minutes in evening. Within a week or two students would be ’phoning us to tell us that were no longer attending course because they found that they could not meditate. They had sat down but found it impossible to concentrate and decided that it was not for them. You see, they were unwilling to practice. We don’t know anyone who is able to sit down and meditate immediately. It takes time and practice like everything else in life. Often to regain your confidence you have to change your attitude. We have learned that there is no such thing as I can’t……. there is only I couldn’t be bothered or I am unwilling to put time in at moment or I won’t because…….I don’t have time……..I couldn’t possibly………..It’s no use ……I’ve tried but…….To get your confidence back you have to put in effort on yourself. You have to identify your strengths and keep practicing. You have to desire a different life. A different way of living. Use: of course when…. instead of I’m sorry but ….. Graham and Julie www.desktop-mediation.com
Graham and Julie live in the Canary Islands where they pursue their love for writing, photography and spirituality. To see more if their work please go to: www.desktop-meditation.com
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