By this time, I was becoming a little discouraged and wondered if I would ever be able to tell my story. Then I had a brilliant idea. I mentioned that while in hospital I suffered a severe case of diarrhea. I could not imagine anybody trying to upstage someone with diarrhea. Boy, was I wrong.

“Diarrhea? Did you say diarrhea?" I slowly nodded my head in affirmative.

"When I was in hospital I had such a severe case of diarrhea that I stayed on toilet for 30 days without getting up. My doctor told me it was severest case of diarrhea he had ever read about."

By this time I despaired ever cashing in any of my "ailment capital." It seems such a shame for all that capital to go to waste. I thought I should give it at least one more try.

Refusing to quit just yet, when next lull in conversation came I was ready.

"When I came into hospital," I chirped enthusiastically, "the doctor thought I was having a heart attack ..."

"Heart attack? Did I hear you talk about having a heart attack? Three years ago, they rushed me to hospital because I was having a real heart attack. The ambulance driver didn't think he would get to hospital in time."

If I thought he was done with this story, I thought wrong.

"My heart attack was so bad I had 17 bypasses. And it was so serious that when heart surgeon opened up my chest my heart attacked him."

I gave up. It's a wise person who knows when he's been beat — and I've been beat.

"My doctor said," this person continued despite my obvious disinterest, "that my heart attack was worse heart attack he had ever heard of in all years of practicing medicine."

I suppose I'll have to bank my "ailment capital" and save it for a rainy day. Or at least, when I can find some unsuspecting person to tell my story to.

For me, worst thing in world is having something exciting to talk about and no audience eager to listen.

I must confess being a little discouraged when a thought hit me. I do have an audience.

The Bible declares, "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7 KJV.)

No matter what is on my mind at any time of day, I have access to greatest ears in world. By pouring out my heart to God, He replaces it with peace. What a great deal.

Naturally, fools -- those who didn’t celebrate New Year in January but liked a lot of hoopla to mark birth of spring -- got short end of stick. But pucks (and for that matter pixies) should never be under-estimated.

January, June or whatever...what's a mundane month or two either way among friends? People, people, people ...it's time to let go of all that linear thinking and cogitate outside box or color beyond lines for pity's sake!!

Which reminds me, who else but a fool can be relied upon to rush in where wise men never go? By way, Mars has gone retrograde so don’t act on that tip about a gold scheme in jungles of Indonesia …unless of course you dream of playing with funny money in a place called “Fool’s Paradise”!

Poppycock problems always demand super-sized solutions, so fools got down to business. Turning tables on twits and twerps, not to mention Tweedledees & Tweedledums, seemed like good idea at time.

And, thanks to those playful pranks on “All Fools Day”, tickling funnybones is infinitely more entertaining than snapping chicken (wish)bones.

So toss your troubles in trashcan, face down your fear making a fool of yourself in public, and start handing out your own "frequent featherbrain" or "frequent flubber” cards!

After all, what better way to honor our "Inner Fool" than gift of glee. So get out there and enjoy a lick of laughter, a jolt of joy, or maybe a taste of titillation at least one day a year!