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By this time, I was becoming a little discouraged and wondered if I would ever be able to tell my story. Then I had a brilliant idea. I mentioned that while in hospital I suffered a severe case of diarrhea. I could not imagine anybody trying to upstage someone with diarrhea. Boy, was I wrong.
“Diarrhea? Did you say diarrhea?" I slowly nodded my head in affirmative.
"When I was in hospital I had such a severe case of diarrhea that I stayed on toilet for 30 days without getting up. My doctor told me it was severest case of diarrhea he had ever read about."
By this time I despaired ever cashing in any of my "ailment capital." It seems such a shame for all that capital to go to waste. I thought I should give it at least one more try.
Refusing to quit just yet, when next lull in conversation came I was ready.
"When I came into hospital," I chirped enthusiastically, "the doctor thought I was having a heart attack ..."
"Heart attack? Did I hear you talk about having a heart attack? Three years ago, they rushed me to hospital because I was having a real heart attack. The ambulance driver didn't think he would get to hospital in time."
If I thought he was done with this story, I thought wrong.
"My heart attack was so bad I had 17 bypasses. And it was so serious that when heart surgeon opened up my chest my heart attacked him."
I gave up. It's a wise person who knows when he's been beat — and I've been beat.
"My doctor said," this person continued despite my obvious disinterest, "that my heart attack was worse heart attack he had ever heard of in all years of practicing medicine."
I suppose I'll have to bank my "ailment capital" and save it for a rainy day. Or at least, when I can find some unsuspecting person to tell my story to.
For me, worst thing in world is having something exciting to talk about and no audience eager to listen.
I must confess being a little discouraged when a thought hit me. I do have an audience.
The Bible declares, "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7 KJV.)
No matter what is on my mind at any time of day, I have access to greatest ears in world. By pouring out my heart to God, He replaces it with peace. What a great deal.
Reverend James L. Snyder is currently ministering at the "Family of God Fellowship" in Ocala, Florida. More of his articles are available for reprint at his website: http://www.godspenman.com/ Rev. Snyder is available as a guest speaker. He writes a weekly column and is the author of "Romance Around a Parsonage Fireplace" available at: http://www.jamessnyderministries.com/