One of main reasons so many people are unhappy at work is because they are experiencing one or more of three types of conflict mentioned above.

Here are some suggestions to help you resolve these behavioral conflicts.

When you find yourself being mentally "pulled", ask yourself this: "How do I need to behave in order for project that I am CURRENTLY working on to be successful?" Do you need to "have it done yesterday" or is precision and attention to detail more important? Whichever is more important, let yourself be "pulled" in that direction. Acknowledging this internal dialogue and making a conscious decision how to behave will help reduce conflict. When interacting with someone who does things differently than you, first realize that this person probably does not intend to give you a hard time. Their behaviors stem from their preferred behavioral style. Just as you have your way of doing things, so do they. The goal is for both of you to discuss how you each prefer to approach your work and reach some type of compromise. When projects are assigned to you that do not match your behavioral design, you have several options. You can enlist help of people whose natural behavior matches demands of project. You can also speak with your manager/supervisor about type of tasks that energize you and request that in future, those tasks be assigned to you. The most drastic measure (and sometimes most appropriate) is to remove yourself from environment -- yes, quit! If you are a person who does not like spotlight and prefers to work behind scenes and your position constantly requires you to make presentations and public appearances, you will continuously be unhappy. The single most important factor related to job satisfaction is having a job that closely matches your behavioral design.

Michael Spremulli holds a Master’s degree in psychology and is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst. He is the host of HowHappyAreYouAtWork.com For more information contact:

The first smoker made a determined decision. It was stronger than desire to continue smoking, and he committed himself to it, no matter what. His subconscious mind picked most dominant thought. His choice to quit was stronger than his outdated choice to smoke, therefore his subconscious made process relatively painless. The second smoker's belief that it was going to be hard set up a self-fulfilling prophecy. And he wasn't dedicated to quitting smoking. His subconscious recognized that he hadn't decided to quit no matter what, so it figured that old programming was what was really desired. His cravings were overwhelming, and he gave into them, to familiar path and to his old conditioning. Our subconscious goes wherever our attention is. Just like driving a car. When our intention is to drive straight ahead, then our reflexes aim car along that course. If our attention wanders to look at beautiful mountains to our right, and continues to gaze at them, instinctive impulse is turn car in direction of where we're looking. With smokers, their subconscious minds delivered to them whatever their attention was fixed on. The one smoker had decided to quit no matter what, so he got to quit. The other smoker was afraid it would be difficult, that he wouldn't succeed, and he was giving up something he liked. His subconscious gave him what it thought he wanted, to continue smoking.

With hypnosis, we focus on one idea, such as giving up something we don't want anymore, and keep our attention on what we do want. This is a process that we use in our daily life all time. Whenever we break new habits, learn new skills, change way we think about life, are creative, we are focusing on what we want. Hypnosis just makes use of process that we're already using. It's like inputting data into a computer. We use keyboard (conscious mind) every day to enter new information into hard drive (subconscious mind) of computer. The hard drive has all old information, and new information, in it. Hypnosis is simply an auxiliary keyboard that bypasses conscious mind to place new data into computer.

Sometimes, a client may be afraid that hypnosis means that my will, my mind, dominates and overpowers theirs. That no matter what I say, they'll have to dance to my tune. Hypnosis doesn't unplug their will. With hypnosis, conscious mind, which is willpower, and subconscious mind, which is processor, co-operate to bring about a desired result. If will, which filters all information, doesn't agree with a particular suggestion, change won't occur. For instance, I may tell a client that if she smokes, her cigarette is going to taste absolutely awful, and subconscious complies by making smoke taste vile. But if she really wants to continue puffing on a cigarette, then her conscious decision can counteract my suggestions, no matter how disgusting tobacco might taste. However, if that same client really wants to quit smoking, then she must make a conscious committment to follow my instructions. Such as taking three deep breaths, and getting involved with something else, to take her mind off smoking. Her decision reinforces suggestions to carry out result she's chosen.

Hypnosis balances conscious and subconscious. The conscious, analytical part of us quiets down and quits picking things apart, while allowing subconscious to come out and play. Have you ever looked for answer to a problem, and started throwing out solutions, no matter how silly they were? Many times, there's a seed of an answer in one of silly ideas. That answer would never have been found if critical part that says That's nonsense had been involved. There's a time for logic, and a time for unrestricted thought. Writer's and creative people are very aware of analytical part versus creative part. Our critical aspect sabotages our work by tearing down every idea we come up with. When we get immersed in our project, and set critical voice aside, we are able to be innovative. This is hypnosis. Later, we use critical part to assess what we've done, and decide how to make it better.

Hypnosis helps a person get in touch with abilities they have that they haven't been able to contact consciously. A person can quit smoking cold turkey, but hypnosis makes it much easier. We all know of people who have put down their cigarettes and never gave them another thought. They've convinced themselves that when they quit, that was it. The subconscious mind knew that, and it followed their decision. Another example is that everyone has ability to block pain. Consider person who was in an accident, and saved others without realizing he was injured, too. Only later, when crisis was over, did he begin to hurt, and discover that he had a broken leg. With hypnosis, a person can access that natural ability that we all have. Usually, our conscious, critical I can't gets in way. Hypnosis moves that self- defeating thought aside.

We've been hypnotized all of our lives. You're stupid, I'll never succeed at anything, Life is hard, Quitting smoking is almost impossible, Every time I even pass a bakery, I gain weight, I'm a klutz, and on and on. We've been using hypnosis to program ourselves every day of our lives. Review beliefs and attitudes you have. You probably accepted them without question, without your logic evaluating whether those concepts were true for someone else with your abilities. All hypnosis does is de-hypnotize a person of self-limiting beliefs, and impress ideas they choose. Hypnosis is simply a process that we're already using anyway. Why not use process to achieve results we want?