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That's all good and well if your confidence problems center around skills, but what if your lack of self-confidence happens to be in
interpersonal relationships area? Are you painfully shy? Too afraid of rejection to even reach out to connect with others? Do you beat yourself up for not looking just so? Depending on severity of your self-sabotaging belief system, you may want to get a professional therapist to help you with this. If it's not too bad, but you have less self esteem then you would like to have, then ask someone that you trust to help you with this part. Ask your friend to point out examples of other people who look or act like you. For example, if you think you're fat and everyone says you're not, then have your friend point out to you other people who are built like you. Have them compare your figure to someone famous. Chances are they won't say Orson Wells! Few people are really horribly fat. Eventually, it'll sink in that you are not really as fat as you think you are. If you're really worried that people will think you're stupid or dull when they first meet you, then have your friend rehearse with you so that you can feel comfortable making small talk with new people.
What if through practicing a new skill or through working on social skills and your personal image with a friend, you find out that you need to actually work on something? Maybe you do have a few pounds to lose. Maybe you need singing lessons. Okay, so be it. That's not a reason to quit moving forward with building upon your fragile new sense of confidence. Just go get help, lessons, workout routine, coaching or whatever else it is that you need to continue moving forward. There will always be teachers and coaches of some sort because there will always be people reaching beyond where they already are. The only problem with a low self-confidence is that we stop giving ourselves permission to learn new things. The fact that we don't know how to be or do everything perfectly is not a good reason to lose confidence in ourselves. As long as you can play at new things and can learn, then you are able to improve and grow. At some point, turn around and look at how far you have come. Pride will show itself.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Skye Thomas became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net.
