Everything she had was so intense. She had beautiful colored glass plates in greens and blues. She had silverware that had mother-of-pearl handles. She had real linen tablecloths. She even had a set of Book Of Knowledge, filled with endless stories, poems and answers to my most remote questions.

Yes, her apartment was to me, an entrance way to beauty, fantasy and knowledge. It was Feng Shui before there was such a thing in our country.

That was then, and now is now. I am happy to report that Ms. Statue is in my living room as proud as ever. I have fake flowers in front of her to make it hard to get too close to her! So far there have been no accidents. The buffet is a resident also, now holding our small liquor supply. The silverware is here, used on only most special occasions. The colored plates and linens are gone, but Books of Knowledge are right behind me in computer room.

My grandmother helped me find beauty and welcome it as a permanent being into my home. She helped me feel good about putting beautiful things together and living with them everyday. By way, her hall chair is my patient's chair in my office. So indeed it has heard many a story and keeps all its secrets!

Come back next week to read how my Virtual Assistant, Rebecca, put beauty, meaning and form into her home. Her story is different from mine, as each of ours are, but it is same in sense that it is her way of building enchantment into her life.

I knew I had to take responsibility for what I was feeling and call my mother. I took a deep breath and picked up phone.

After an awkward beginning my mother and I were able to communicate about what had happened. We acknowledged what we both were feeling and were each able to take responsibility for our part. Toward end of conversation she asked me how we could make sure this wouldn’t happen between us again.

In responding to her question lesson of this experience became crystal clear to me.

It occurred to me that we COULDN’T make sure that it wouldn’t ever happen again. Despite all learning and best intentions chances are we will get caught up in same old same old. This was actually a comforting thought. Perhaps, best we could hope for is HOW we would respond when it DID happen again.

There is a powerful distinction between reacting and responding. Reacting often feels emotional, unconscious, and out of control. Responding on other hand comes from awareness. Having ability to choose how you wish to engage in whatever situation life presents.

What if you could unlearn behavior that keeps you stuck in reaction and discover new skills that could improve your relationships? How might your life be different?

Here are some ideas to practice that will help build your ability to respond:

1. Become curious about what is underneath your reaction. Is it fear? Anger? How old is it? What might you need to do in order to take care of real issue?

2. Act sooner. Don’t let feelings build into resentments. Head things off before they’re huge.

3. Communicate. Let person know what’s coming up for you.

4. Don’t blame. Intend to see how you can use whatever is happening for your own evolution.

5. Make agreements. Create a safe space for yourself to maximize your success.

This experience has helped me embrace rather than resist this ageless dynamic with my mother. I am truly looking forward to our next visit as an opportunity to practice responding with greater awareness.

Now, when I reflect back on Ram Dass test, I can honestly say…after all, I didn’t do too badly.

It’s your life…imagine possibilities

Helaine Iris is a Certified Life Coach She works with individuals, entrepreneurs, professionals, and leaders who want more out of life. People, who want to lead successful, balanced lives filled with love, passion and purpose. Are you ready to take a step that could change your life? For a complimentary session visit her website http://www.pathofpurpose.com or call her 603-357-8546 or email her helaine@pathofpurpose.com