While author does a very good job of raising important issues of power which relate to race, class, and gender, as well as sexual orientation, he seems to have little ability to rise above immediate issue to give that promised "big picture." Instead of giving us a broader perspective on controversies and crises that he presents so well, he tends to focus on condemning shortsightedness, inflexibility, or selfishness of one or more of adversary parties. The fact that he often has blame aplenty for all sides to a conflict shows evenhandedness but adds little perspective. This focus on conflict is also reflected in profusion of war metaphors in this volume, with chapter titles of "Rallying Troops," "The Making of Soldiers," and "War Bonds." The inutility of such "war on disease" metaphors was ably expressed by Sontag in her brilliant monograph Illness as a Metaphor.

Despite these criticisms of Victory Deferred as an integrative work, it is well worth price for its profusion of anecdotal details and important issues it raises and provides a degree of insight into. Even more than that, it preserves some element of experience and wisdom of many persons interviewed for this book who are no longer with us.

* Bring along a gallon-sized Ziploc baggie and a few dry- erase or washable markers. Slip a sheet of blank paper or an entire magazine into baggie. If you use a magazine, don't tear out pages (even though most doctor offices receive free magazine subscriptions, it's just not polite to tear them). Trace magazine cover through plastic. Wipe baggie clean with a tissue and start over with a new picture.

* Try to stump each other with word scrambles. Use a pencil and piece of paper to rearrange letters of a word, and then decipher them.

* Play Find-A-Feeling: Ask your child to look through a magazine and find a happy person. Discuss why they think person is happy, sad, upset, etc., (ask them for examples such as facial expressions and body language). This will help your child recognize and acknowledge feelings of others.