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Fortunately, hotel rooms are immaculately clean. It's true. The sign says so. Just as long as you don't look under
mattress to find a 1976 copy of Businessweek Magazine and theatre tickets to a 1982 showing of The Music Man.
I don't know why hotels pretend to be so spotless. All that junk under bed could be used as a marketing tool. "Stay at Hilltop Hilton and join in our under-mattress-scavenger-hunt."
If hotels don't catch on, sooner or later motels will. They can turn anything into a sales pitch. Like, for example, "Color TV" (Ooooooohh.). And "Outdoor Pool" (I think "outdoor" feature is a nice added touch, don't you?) And how about "Free Parking" (which is really a way of saying, "You don't have to park your car in your room.").
What worries me most about hotels is what they keep in drawers. Did you ever notice there is always a bible in drawer? Why?
When you buy a car, there is no bible in glove compartment, although road is where you need prayers most.
When you dig for prize at bottom of Cracker Jack box, it's never a bible.
Even in hospitals, where a prayer might be all you have left, there is no bible in drawer.
Only in hotels and on death row do bibles come as standard equipment.
And why just Bible? I have had plenty of spare time to search for Torahs and Korans in hotel rooms, and I have never found any. Do Jews and Muslims not stay in hotels? What do they know that I don't?
Fortunately, I don't have to stay in hotels anymore. I don't have to endure shadow-puppet shows from guy on other side of wall. I don't have to keep from reading over his shoulder. I don't have worry about what he ate for dinner.
And I don't have to listen to his snoring. I can enjoy my own nightmares in peace.
David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html And A Daily Dose of Happiness: http://www.thehappyguy.com/daily-happiness-free-ezine.html He also writes personal growth articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html And sells liquid vitamins: http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net
