In addition to these explanations, some singles express a belief that "everyone does it" or "it's expected". Therefore, they often report engaging in it, but not feeling really ok or satisfied afterwards. Others use it as a substitute for real intimacy, referencing their difficulties in meeting and dating in general.

Then there are people who have sex hoping it will lead to love. This too is a desire for intimacy that can lead to sadness and disappointment and possibility of contacting a dangerous and life-altering infection. It reminds me of line in a song, "if I can love you good enough on outside to make you feel it on inside, then maybe you will stay..."

If you recognize yourself in any of these statements and want to address your issue, begin with an inventory of your values and self-awareness. Read articles: "Defining Intimacy", "Clarifying And Living Your Values", and "How's Your Self-Awareness". You can find these on: http://www.consum-mate.com/articles.htm

If you would find feedback that deals specifically with these issues helpful, take "What's Your Intimacy IQ" and "Are You Relationship Ready" quizzes. These can be found on: http://www.consum-mate.com/quiz.htm

Once you have determined what you really want from a relationship you can begin to make clear, thought out choices that will open path that points in direction you wish to go. Until you do so, you face possibility of more disappointing and short-lived encounters that leave you feeling more alone and less hopeful about possibility for lasting happy love.

Here are several more benefits YOU get out of making paper into pulp:

(1) It will assure you that it will be impossible for a would-be-trash-searching-thief to put any of pieces back together. You know how easy it is to fit some pieces of paper back together when you rip them up. Pulp makes it impossible to connect pieces together. Take a look at edges of your paper when you pull your pulp apart. You'll see what I mean.

(2) Soaking your paper in water makes some of print less legible. Sometimes it just makes it mildly blurry and other times ink actually runs. That helps give you greater protection against private information being easily legible to a thief.

(3) Your pulp will remain damp for a reasonable amount of time. Wet paper, as opposed to dry, can sometimes be easier for dirt particles and stains to cling to. You're just giving your pulp an extra advantage by welcoming dirt particles to come along and make it even a little more disgusting and illegible.

(4) Your pulp will dry in illegible clumps. Have you ever tried to break apart pulp? If you have, then you know that in process of doing so you make matters worse. The small pieces of paper are even further ripped up and destroyed as you try to pull them apart with your fingers.

So if a would-be thief is going to try and steal your private information. Make it hard on him. And maybe if he runs into enough pulp he'll realize it takes just as much work to steal as it does to make an honest living.

Protect yourself with pulp.

(c) Copyright 2003 Tameka Norris