These are some ideas for fathers who are committed to helping create kids who can learn from their mistakes, and who are not afraid of making a few:

Absolutely accept notion that your kids are doing their best, and that they’ll learn faster about their mistakes if they are in an environment that accepts mistakes.

Understand that your difficulty with your kids’ mistakes is in fact a reflection of your difficulty dealing with your own mistakes; be aware of this and deal with your own issues first.

Know shaming messages that we can all give so easily to our kids--messages that can do a lot of damage to them and help them to feel unworthy. Here’s a few of them: -How could you have done that? -You don’t listen to me! -You can do better than that! -What’s matter with you?

Keep providing your kids with learning experiences, but at same time structure their environment so they can’t make too many mistakes (having expensive glassware around house where children might break it is not their fault).

Provide a great model for your children by way you react to making mistakes: do you get defensive and stretch truth, or do you own mistake and learn something from it? Create a culture that’s based on learning from mistakes.

We only have one chance to show our kids patience and discipline necessary to allow them to learn from mistakes that we’ve all made. Your opportunity to improve just started now; give your kids room that they need and deserve.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, is the author of 25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers (http://www.markbrandenburg.com/e_book.htm#secrets. For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids, at http://www.markbrandenburg.com

The stories you tell them will ultimately be comforting. That you have had these struggles and have come back and recovered is encouragement to them; your kids will need a truckload of encouragement to navigate their way through life.

It is truly a gift to be able to communicate to your children what is in your heart through use of stories. Stories can not only be used as a vehicle to pass along your values, but they are likely to inspire your children to repeat same process with their children.

Here are five suggestions to help you come up with stories for your children:

1.Tell stories to your kids when they are most attentive to them--when they are in bed, or settled down so they can sit still for awhile.

2.Make sure to include stories of you failing miserably. These are particularly useful to your kids. We’ve all got a few of these, don’t we?

3.Have your parents tell your children some of their own stories if they are able--a great way to show connection that exists between generations.

4.Use stories to answer your kids’ questions about difficult issues. They need to know that you have faced these issues yourself, and that there are many choices available.

5.Realize that you don’t need a history of storytelling in your family to get started, and you don’t need to be a great storyteller. Give some thought to experiences you’ve had that might relate to some of issues your kids are facing right now or in near future.

There is a short window of opportunity in which to tell your children stories of your life. Many fathers fail to tell their stories because of a lack of a story-telling tradition in their family of origin. This can be a wonderful opportunity to begin your own tradition with your own stories.

It’s also a great opportunity to contribute to moral upbringing of your kids by telling them stories of your life. The lessons within these stories can provide some of moral anchor for your kids in a world that doesn’t often provide many moral anchors.

Teaching your kids about life through telling your stories will be more effective than lecturing your kids any day of week. Your kids will want to hear your stories, lecturing they could probably do without.

May your stories live on eternally.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, is the author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers” (http://www.markbrandenburg.com/e_book.htm#secrets. For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, “Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.