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6. For consequences to be effective, children involved must see them as logical.
7. The purpose of using natural and logical consequences is to motivate children to make responsible decisions, not to force their submission.
8. Apply
logical consequences approach in proper sequence:
· Provide choices and accept child's decision while using a friendly tone of voice that communicates your good will.
· While following through, assure child that he may try again later.
· If misbehavior is repeated, extend time that must elapse before he may try again.
9. Consequences are effective only if you do not use hidden motives of winning and controlling.
10. Be both firm and kind when correcting children's misbehavior. Firmness refers to your follow-through behavior; kindness refers to manner in which you present them with choices.
11. Talk less, listen and act more. Lead them into proper behavior by setting example.
12. When you do things for children that they could do for themselves, you are robbing them of opportunity for self-respect and responsibility.
13. Avoid fighting or quarreling; they indicate a lack of respect for other person. Avoid giving in; it indicates disrespect for yourself.
14. Be patient! It takes time for natural and logical consequences to become effective.
Follow these principles and watch your relationship with your children and spouse improve, self-discipline of your children increase, and, perhaps most importantly, your patience and love for them return.
Remember: When you help your children to maximize their potential, everyone wins. When you don't, we all lose.
* Based on principles of STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) developed by Don Dinkmeyer, Ph.D. and Gary D. McKay, Ph.D. © MMIV, Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW
Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW, Management Consultant and Trainer, conducts seminars, lectures, and writes articles on his theme: "... helping you maximize your potential." Take a free health survey at http//eagibbs.usana.com.
