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"What?!" Lady Banker and I cried in unison.
It took me a moment, but it slowly dawned on me that living room had fallen to enemy. "Please excuse me a moment. I think this is work of foreign cannibals breaking through basement foundation again." I didn't know if Lady Banker would buy my story, but I figured it would buy me some time while she considered it.
I rushed to living room, and there was Little Sister, grinning in full splendor of her 14 months and holding up handset.
"I was on phone with Lady Banker, Little Sister. She holds mortgage to our house, you know."
The look on Little Sister's face said it all: "You think that's your biggest problem?"
I tried a few negotiation tactics, finally trading handset for a limited edition huggy doll.
I returned to phone. "The rebels are gaining ground, eh?" Lady Banker asked. I sighed.
It was true. Just yesterday, Little Sister scurried up back staircase to second floor. She had been playing right beside me, and I was certain she had just headed in other direction to where her big sister was holding her mother hostage living room.
But I had to make sure. I peaked my head around corner toward back staircase. Nobody. Then I saw it. Her little blankie lying at foot of stairs. I heard a thump above, and Little Sister's lifeless body flashed before my eyes where blankie lay. I raced to staircase, up stairs and around corner.
There she stood, grinning at me with her "You think that's your biggest problem?" expression again.
The revolution is gaining momentum. They hold kitchen. They won living room. Now they have a toehold on upstairs landing. It won't be long until toddlers and their imaginary friends have overrun house and declared it a free country. Bedtimes will be banned and candy will be national currency.
When they leave home, I'll need more than a five-year cruise to de-stress. Maybe ten years will be enough.
David Leonhardt is author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/Item.asp?Catalog=Books&Item=059517826X Read more personal growth articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html Visit his liquid vitamins store: http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net Or his happiness website: http://www.thehappyguy.com