Let’s take example of male fidelity. However you feel about this intellectually, you know in your heart whether you can tolerate it or not. So let’s say it’s on your list of “must haves” that you want a man who will be faithful. When you meet someone, no matter how attractive he is, before you fall head over heels and flowers and sweet words are warping your thinking brain, check it out. Find out his history. Ask around, look around. Give it some thought, and get some coaching to see what’s a pattern in his past, and what’s a mistake he’s been able to learn from. The more you understand about how male brain works, better dating and better eventual partnership.

Then distance yourself from emotions, and take a cold, hard look at how things are in present. Notice how he acts when he’s with you, not just what he says, or promises. Get some help and guidance with this, because it’s important.

You need to know what you’re getting in for before you’re in deep water. In response to our extensive research and interviews with women about “the other woman,” we started a very discrete investigative and coaching service with this in mind. Most women find it’s best to do this at arm’s length, and let someone else with a clearer head and experience do work and provide some direction. There are certain clues that can tip you off ahead of time, and “a stitch in time, saves 9.” In this case it can save your heart, time and energy, all of which are important. Important also, is that it can save you adding negative “baggage” to your own scene. Know those women who are in to “male bashing?” Stick with good guys and you won’t have to go there.

Intuition is a major part of EQ. If you’re hearing things, or seeing things that send off an alarm, don’t ignore them. Take action while you’re still thinking clearly. The longer you stay in a relationship, more likely you’ll get into your own head and get confused; that’s what “love” is all about.

You don’t want to be “sadder but wiser” again, do you? Use your EQ and start dating emotionally intelligent way – using both your head AND your heart.