Only when we relate to feelings of another person do we connect, and only when we connect can we truly influence. Our excitement about an idea, or about its usefulness to well-being of another (compassion) is much more likely to effect another person and to influence their behavior than a strictly intellectual analysis of an idea, or strident forcing of one's own opinions on others, or even of "giving orders".

Sadder still if we're in some position of power over other and they 'must' listen to us, at least for a time. This applies to parents, lovers, colleagues, bosses, managers, and any of us at any given time. Think of last time you were "a captive audience" to person next to you in airplane.

Good EQ means having a clue about feelings of other person, and knowing effect that you have them; and, I would add, etiquette and common decency demand that more person MUST listen to you, more considerate you should be in delivery and content of what you're saying.

Never come on any stronger than you have to. In other words, don't send a cannon when a fly swatter would do. And don't annoy and bore others. There are two types of people who do this -- those who don't care, and those who don't know they're doing it. EQ means knowing effect you have on others.

This involves watching nonverbals that go on in an encounter. Noticing if person you're talking to becomes uneasy (shifting position, losing eye contact, yawning), becomes bored (eyes rolling back in head, fidgeting, yawning), angry (tense body posture, arms folded), or digusted (lip curled, eyes squinting and/or averted).

Notice that almost any nonverbal communicator can mean several different things, and sometimes can mean opposite things. For instance, a person who becomes agitated when being “questioned,” can do so either because they’re lying OR because they’re a hyper-honest person who’s afraid. Any given ‘signal’ depends upon grouping and context. If you need to know more about nonverbal communication, read by new ebook, "Nonverbal Communication - What You Say Isn't What Says It All" or sign up for some coaching.

And please, don't get in someone else's face and BARK!

If there is a little animal inside us (and there is), it responds way all animals do - to tone of voice. Check out this site ( http://www.dogtrainingbasics.com/commands.html ) and listen to recordings of what 'works' for praise and for command. Women, they say, have trouble giving "bad dog" tone, and men have trouble giving "good dog" tone.

However, getting in someone's face and barking is not gender-specific. Both intimidating growl and finger-shaking school m'arm approach are to be avoided if you want others to listen to you, or, more importantly, want them to WANT to listen to you. We all have amazing powers for “tuning out.”

If you want people to listen to what you’re going to say, make sure they’re tuning IN, not OUT.

Before taking any action, ask yourself " How will this make me feel once I have accomplished this action?"

Most of time, your intuiting will give you immediate feedback, you either receive a positive or negative emotion.

Listen to your intuition, and do what makes you feel good, don't worry about making mistakes, because...

**Everything is in its divine order**

One of most stubborn road block to success is fear of failure, or fear of making mistakes.

To completely remove this road block, you must accept a belief that everything is in divine order.

Look back at your life of past 10 years. Did you make any mistakes? Sure you did, but without that mistake, would you have life you are living now? If you can look deeply, you will find that mistake had inevitably created some coincidence that leads to your present life. There is always a connection between everything happening in your life. That mistake is part of your life journey that should not be missed, then why did you worry at that time?

After my university entrance examination, I did not get a chance to join an old brand university that I loved very much. Most people that know me felt pity for me, but I did not care, I joined a university of my second choice. Just one month after joining that university, I was offered a scholarship to study abroad in a much better university than my first choice university. Best of all, I did not spend a single dime on my tertiary education, even my everyday spending was covered by that scholarship. I would never have had this chance if I had joined my first choice university. Is this only a coincidence? I don't believe that, I believe every thing is in its divine order, in my life, nothing ever goes wrong.

If you want more of this kind of coincidence happen in your life, repeat this everyday when you feel doubt.

"Everything is in its divine order; in my life, nothing ever goes wrong"

To sum up, you need to make a small improvement everyday. Before taking any action, think of feelings it will bring to you, and make right choice based on your feelings. Then just do it, and believe you are doing right thing because everything is in divine order.

To your success. ------------------------------------------------------------