"Bell" was always girl who came and perked me up and gave me hope with her loving affection and undying devotion. I was beside myself with grief. The first few days after she died, I wasn't prepared to adopt another animal. But suddenly I had a change of heart. My husband drove me two hours away to adopt a new "girl." She wasn't Bell, but she gave me hope -- thus, I named her "Hope." She made herself right at home and her mannerisms were just like Bell's. We had chosen perfect dog to not only help us all get over our grief, but help me to get on with my own life as well. As we watched her grow and become an important part of our lives, I felt that I had to improve my own life.

After nearly dying from a potent drug-induced seizure, I decided on my own that I was no longer going to take all pills prescribed to me. Although I went against doctor orders, I felt like drugs were having a more negative impact on my life than good. Eventually, I met an individual who taught me how to use stretch bands to build my muscles and regain muscular coordination. Soon thereafter, my nerves started kickstarting and I soon had ability to walk again. Time seemed to drag by as I slowly began to be able to manipulate things more efficiently with my arms and hands. By power of faith and an undeniable willpower to survive, I did.

I could've laid in that hospital bed that evening when I almost died and allowed death to succumb, but I CHOSE life over death. For first time in a very long time, I wanted to live -- at all costs. After months of physical, emotional, spiritual and mental transformations, I found myself back in workforce. It was administrative work, but I was actually getting around and feeling great. But physical episodes still haunted me and led me back to homefront.

I discovered a powerful force within myself during times of my greatest, disabling moments in life. One of them being that I geared my thoughts toward literature. Suddenly, I was being published in anthologies and Who's Who of World Poetry. Then came my own book of inspirational poetry. Time, although unforgiving, allowed healing to occur in more ways than one. Suddenly, I was propelled into volunteer work where my literature was being used for National tributes, monuments and charitable organizations. Suddenly, I was doing things that God had intended me to do -- write. And write, I did.

Do I still have physical disabilities? Yes. Do I still go numb and see double? Yes I do. But what I've found through my own shortcomings is that there is an unexplored abundance of hope, transformation and opportunities -- that before lay stagnant in pools of yesterday's bittersweet sorrow. Are you living life to your fullest human potential? Seek within yourself for strength, perserverence and inner faith -- rest will follow.

(c) 2003 LadyCamelot

The most proficient and successful goal of life is to "Aspire to be YOU." Take a long look at yourself in mirror. Ask yourself following questions: What do YOU want to do? How do YOU wish others to see you? What defines me? Am I confident? Am I happy? What can I do to be happier? What are my goals? What are my dreams and aspirations? Do I 'need' to transform myself? And most importantly, "Do I know where I'm going in life?"

There are no paradoxes in aspiring to be you. When you aspire to be you, one doesn't need to comparison shop for personalities. One merely has to look within to find his/her unique meaning in life and how s/he emits himself or herself in community. When you aspire to be you, you don't have to be superman or woman. You only have to be you -- in mind, body and spirit. Nature's gift to mankind, is not how you define yourself by becoming someone else -- rather, how you present yourself to you. Aspire to be yourself, and rest of life's voyage will be smooth sailing.

(c) LadyCamelot 2003