Oops. SalesLady was taken aback again. "Ladies do not engage in pillow fights."

I considered suede handbags for a moment. "I think my friend might like something a little more trendy. Do you have anything trendy?"

"Trendy? You want trendy? We have lots of trendy!" SalesLady got all excited. "How about this very popular high heel shoe handbag?" she offered.

I had to admit it was original. And trendy. But I wasn't sure about giving my friend a bag she could kick me with.

SalesLady read my mind. "I know," she sighed. "You men all cower at site of high heel shoe handbag. How about an equally trendy jelly handbag instead?"

I turned it over a few times. "Where's peanut butter?"

SalesLady snapped bag back and handed me another. "Your friend will love these Initial bags," she said, showing me several bags with a single classy letter affixed to each. I considered how many bags my friend would have to carry to spell "Help, my dorky friend bought me too many handbags." I asked what else she could show me.

She brought out a handbag covered with lip prints. My eyes opened wide. "Wow. How come a handbag gets all puckers?"

"They are not real," SalesLady assured me.

"It's still better than I've ever gotten."

SalesLady mercifully ignored my comment. "How about these vinyl horoscope handbags?"

"Now you're talking! My friend loves horoscopes."

SalesLady looked relieved.

"But..."

"I know," SalesLady interrupted "She can find her horoscope in newspaper. Let's try something else. How about these little evening handbags?"

I looked at tiny purses. "They are cute, but they don't have much room to carry, say, a chainsaw."

An hour later...

The sales clerk at hardware store rang up my purchase. "That'll be $29," she said.

I handed her money. "Thank you," I smiled. "I thought about getting 205-piece socket set for my friend, but I know she will love this new handbag."

"Handbag?" asked confused clerk staring at toolbox in my hand.

"Yes. And if she doesn't, at least she can't kick me with it."

6) What Are Your Vibes Saying About You?

Are you familiar with Law of Attraction? Maybe you have heard expressions, "What you think about, you bring about" or "The more attention you give to something, more attention it will give to you." When going through a divorce, your emotions can be compared to a roller coaster ride. Use this time to become reconnected to your inner awareness of who you are. Recognize if your feelings are low energy or high energy.

A few examples of low energy are stress, negativity, fear, resentment, or a sense of lack (lack of time or money) and high energy is joy, abundance, happy, positive, love or compassion. If you are having feelings of low energy, how do you make a shift to feel more of high energy?

First, acknowledge and accept feelings you are having. Be gentle with yourself! Your goal is to make a shift, but realize you might not be able to go from low to high instantly. Start with baby steps! Repeat step number three and become present! Be thankful for what is working in your life right now. Do something simple like pat your pet, smell a flower or, if you are in office, take a minute to think of a previous fun time or experience you have had that could bring a smile to your face. Feel shift you are starting to make in your energy.

Now, to amp up this high-energy feeling, think of another time of joy or something you were passionate about in your life. Keep adding these thoughts to your high-energy feeling and begin to feel great! Does it seem people or situations around you have changed or is it you who has really changed? So, who has power to feel their own joy? When you are feeling your high energy, this is time to take your next inspired action. Enjoy feeling of accomplishing something with ease and less effort!

7) Be True To Yourself

During and even after a divorce, we are often filled with doubts. We question ourselves about what is right, what to do or how we feel. Should I or shouldn't I? It seems difficult to make a decision. Listen to your heart. What feels right? What doesn't feel quite right? If a situation does not feel right, honor your resistance by pausing or waiting. Sometimes waiting is best thing to do. By waiting you may have allowed situation to unfold more easily without having to worry! If a decision feels good or right, usually that means you are heading in right direction. When we listen to our hearts, we are in integrity with ourselves. When we are in integrity with ourselves, we learn to say NO more easily.

Has this ever happened to you? You are asked to be on a committee or to volunteer for something and you say yes, even though you know it will make your schedule even tighter or you really don't want to or have to?

How do you stop this from happening? Next time you are in this situation and you are ready to say yes, yet, find yourself having doubts, try this . STOP! Take a breath or even take a step back (this action will prevent you from saying yes). Pause! Thank person for thinking of you, but let them know you will have to check your calendar and get back to them. When you do have time to think about it, focus on how you are feeling. Are you excited to volunteer or do you feel some resistance? If in a day or two you are still feeling doubtful, realize timing might not be right for you. If you are still excited, join committee and have fun!

Divorce is not easy or fun, but you can make it through this time of your life by realizing you WILL make it! Also, honor yourself and listen to your heart! Your true purpose and passions are waiting to be rediscovered within you! When you have discovered "gold nugget" you already are, you will start to live your life with more ease and enjoy feeling of peace. "You are truly free!"

Copyright 2004 by Joanie Winberg. All Rights Reserved.