•INTROVERTS FEAR FAILURE IN PUBLIC AND EXPERIENCE DEEP HUMILIATION BECAUSE OF IT.

If we’re not prepared for our latest ”public” Hallowe’en experience, it can be very traumatic. We don’t like being thrown in to a situation for which we’re not prepared. Please don’t take us to a new event, location, or creative way of celebrating this occasion without warning. Whatever you’re doing with us for Hallowe’en, please go through it with us beforehand and if there are social requirements, give us some tips of what to say at absolute minimum to meet parental standards so we can win!

•INTROVERTS HATE SMALL TALK AND BEING TOUCHED BY STRANGERS (SHAKING HANDS, ETC.)

Does this sound like we want to go door-to-door in anybody’s neighborhood … even for candy? I mean talk about a double bind. Can’t you just give us some candy and skip rest!

•INTROVERTS DON'T LIKE TO RUSH.

If we’re rushed, we’re miserable, no matter what else is going on. If we have to endure Hallowe’en crush, better let us amble up and down one trick ‘r’ treating block or down one aisle at carnival rather than rushing us through six in one hour. Too much. Too fast. Too terrible.

If you’re keeping us at home – which is sounding better all time -- please don’t make us open door and fuss over everybody. It’s exhausting. We wouldn’t mind hanging back and watching you open door, though. That’s fun for us! We like to watch.

We will not even open to this Source until our deep desire is to take loving care of ourselves. As long as we believe it is someone else’s job to fill us up, or that we will get filled up from work, money, food and so on, we will not take loving action we need to take in our own behalf to take care of our Inner Child and fill ourselves with love.

The first thing I did with Hannah was to help her create, in her imagination, a spiritual source for her to turn to. When I asked her to do this, she immediately imagined her grandfather whom she had dearly loved as a child and who had died when she was five. She said she had often felt her grandfather around her, but had never thought to turn to him for help. Now, as she imagined him holding her and loving her, she began to cry with joy of feeling his love for her.

"Hannah, while he is holding you, imagine child part of you that wants to overeat. Imagine that you are holding her while your grandfather is holding you. Ask her how you are treating her that causes her to feel so empty and alone."

Little Hannah: "The thing you ALWAYS do that I just hate is you just go along with everything that Roger wants. What he wants and needs and feels is always more important to you than I am. You don’t speak up for me. Every since we got married, it’s like Roger is supposed to make me happy instead of you making me happy. I need you to make me happy by taking care of me instead of taking care of Roger so that Roger will love us. I need you to love me." (This did not come out all at once - this is a summary of what Inner Child eventually said to adult Hannah).

As Hannah learned to turn to her grandfather for love and guidance and started to take care of herself instead of giving herself up to Roger, her binge eating gradually diminished.