Written by James L. Snyder

Continued from page 1

Another sign I have recently noticed is that stairs have become steeper. A couple of years ago I barely noticed them. However, a conspiracy is inrepparttar wind. Not only are they steeper but some unscrupulous person has added steps to allrepparttar 118175 stairs in my vicinity.

We must put together a special task force immediately before any more steps are added. A danger here, and I don't want to be an alarmist, is that eventually staircases will never end and they will go absolutely nowhere.

Is it me or are people playing music much louder than they used to? I'm not sure ofrepparttar 118176 reason for this annoying change, but I believe someone has been slowly increasingrepparttar 118177 volume, thinking nobody will notice. But I have noticed, so please stop it, whoever you are.

To compound this problem many people are talking much faster then they used to, especiallyrepparttar 118178 under 20 group. That may explain why I never get what I order at a drive-thru restaurant.

Then,repparttar 118179 week seems to go by so much faster. I can remember when I was in schoolrepparttar 118180 week just dragged on and on. I thought it would never end.

Now, I no sooner get adjusted to Monday and its Friday already. Whatever happens to Tuesday through Thursday? Where do those days go?

I almost forgot (my memory is not what it used to be), I would like to say something nice about losing your memory. My grandmother always said that if you could not say something nice about someone you should not say anything at all.

So, let me say something nice aboutrepparttar 118181 marvelous phenomena of forgetfulness. Ah ... I'm sorry. I forgot what I was going to say.

Age does have its advantages: free checking, 10 percent off at most restaurants, and not remembering what you had for dinner last night which enables you to have desert two days in a row without feeling guilty.

Everybody grows old but not many people grow up. This is a major problem not only in general but also inrepparttar 118182 church. Some Christians are not growing up.

The Apostle Peter was concerned about this. He writes, "But grow in grace, and inrepparttar 118183 knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever. Amen." (2 Peter 3:5 KJV.)

Each day brings with it opportunities to grow. Take advantage of it today and enjoy getting older.

Award winning author and popular columnist living in Ocala, FL


Written by Theolonius McTavish

Continued from page 1

Anyway, I picked up this picturesque postcard ofrepparttar blessed ballyhooing buglugs. They look perfectly happy but don’t be deceived. In reality, they’re just a gang of glad-handing grasshoppers. They don’t play golf, eat burgers, or drink beer -- and none can frost a rock! Come to think of it, apart fromrepparttar 118174 company of bugs andrepparttar 118175 elusive flop fairy, this pathetic planet has precious little going for IT!!

To put "IT" bluntly, life on “IT” is just shy of a tittynope*. The jolly green grasshoppers andrepparttar 118176 carefully manicured green fairways with sand traps as far asrepparttar 118177 eye can see certainly make for an utterly harmless world. Regrettably, without a pair of golf clubs, a dimpled white ball, andrepparttar 118178 notion that 19th hole even exists on this planet -- ”IT” is about as fun as bag of toads!

Life Lesson 42: Remember to talk to your travel agent before ever embarking on a flight of fancy to a planet called “IT” in a galaxy named “Have-a-Nice-Day”!!


*"Tittynope" for you whiffling word-peckers means "a small quantity of anything left over".

If you want to know what those green, glad-handing grasshoppers from "IT" look like -- ask any four-year old, or failing that request some help from a Flying Saucer Club member.

Theolonius McTavish is a somewhat spaced-out time-traveller (of minor relevance and importance in the great scheme of things). When not probing odd things happening somewhere in the depths of the universe, he enjoys chinwagging with all manner of merry folk at

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