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-- Sing saucy songs at top of my lungs in shower just to annoy my high-brow, nosey-poking, next-door neighbor.
-- Brush my teeth to remove grunge (tartar) and make my breath fragrant as all get out (so other living creatures will feel comfortable in my presence).
-- Relieve myself occasionally and conveniently when spirit moves me.
-- Talk compassionately to my pet rock “Godot”.
-- Feed my rather sparse-leafed money tree named “Kaching”.
-- Walk my miniature rottweiler “Sir Galahad” (and of course pick up after him with those brand-named doggy bags).
-- Meditate on life without monsters, telemarketers, and virtual reality TV shows.
-- Unplug, debottleneck, and take power naps (whichever comes first).
-- Separate recyclables and transport refuse to designated bins marked “paper only”, “glass”, “plastic”, and “everything else but kitchen sink”.
-- Prepare my favorite comfort food, “bangers and mash” (i.e. well cooked pork and mashed potatoes garnished with gobs of calorie-laden butter and gravy).
My humble advice is stay away from digital devices and books that tell you how easy it is to operate them. Whenever you feel urge to know more about a dingus or purchase a doodad that does everything, just visit a kindergarten nearby and ask little tikes how to have fun.
And, as every kid at heart knows, you don’t need another bleeping book or latest bit of bling-bling to know you’re alive and how to have fun!!
Theolonius McTavish, a quirky curmudgeon whose mirthful meanderings include slow food, slow motion, and slow dating in that order of magnitude (provided he's not interrupted by perplexing potshots from the ripsnorting realm of The Quipping Queen -- www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com)