HOW TO CANOODLE WITH A CANUCK IN A CANOEWritten by Theolonius McTavish
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-- Likely (British Columbia) -- Little Seldom (Newfoundland) -- Lively (Ontario) -- Love (Saskatchewan) -- Lucifer Mountain (Alberta) -- Lucky Lake (Saskatchewan) -- Lucky Man (Saskatchewan) -- Lulu Island (British Columbia) -- Lushes Bight (Newfoundland) -- Ma-Me-O Beach (Alberta) -- Manyberries (Alberta) -- Meat Cove (Nova Scotia) -- Mermaid (Prince Edward Island) -- Middlesex (Ontario) -- Mink Cove (Nova Scotia) -- Monkland (Ontario) -- Moonbeam (Ontario) -- Newbliss (Ontario) -- Nipawin (Saskatchewan) -- Nipissing (Ontario) -- Nippers Harbour (Newfoundland) -- Nojack (Alberta) -- Nottawa (Ontario) -- Nun’s Island (Prince Edward Island & Quebec) -- Nuttby (Nova Scotia) -- Overflowing River (Manitoba) -- Paradise Point (Ontario) -- Peel (Ontario) -- Pilot Butte (Saskatchewan) -- Pilot Mound (Manitoba) -- Pincher (Alberta) -- Pitt Meadows (British Columbia) -- Pleasantville (Ontario) -- Plenty (Saskatchewan) -- Plum Point (Newfoundland) -- Precious Corners (Ontario) -- Punkeydoodles Corners (Ontario) -- Rapid City (Manitoba) -- Resolute (Nunavut) -- Rosebud (Alberta) -- Rough Top (Yukon Territories) -- Sackville (Nova Scotia) -- St. Jones Within, St. Jones Without (Newfoundland) -- Saint Noel (Québec) -- Sandy Hook (Manitoba) -- Seldom (Newfoundland) -- Sexsmith (Alberta) -- Shag Harbour (Nova Scotia) -- Skookumchuck (British Columbia) -- Smuts (Saskatchewan) -- Snug Haven (Ontario) -- South Dildo (Newfoundland) -- Stag Harbour (Newfoundland) -- Starbuck (Manitoba) -- Star City (Saskatchewan) -- Stupendous Mountain (British Columbia) -- Success (Saskatchewan) -- Sugar Loaf (Nova Scotia) -- Sweet Bay (Newfoundland) -- Sweetland (Nova Scotia) -- Thumb Island (Northwest Territories) -- Tickle Beach, Tickle Cove, Tickle Harbour (Newfoundland) -- Tidal (Manitoba) -- Tiger Lily (Alberta) -- Toogood Arm (Newfoundland) -- Twin Butte (Alberta) -- Unity (Saskatchewan) -- Virgin Arm (Newfoundland) -- Washabuck Centre (Nova Scotia) -- Welcome (Ontario) -- Whim Road (Prince Edward Island) -- Wild Bight, Wild Cove (Newfoundland) -- Winkler (Manitoba) -- Zero Lake (Ontario) -- Zippermouth Lake (British Columbia)
Now, having perused this picturesque placename list, put your imagination on hold for a moment. Never ever ask a Canadian where they’re from; they love to keep strangers in dark just like them. So quit complaining and just remember, there’s a party animal lurking somewhere beneath that thick skin, fur coat, and titillating tail!
Get on your sparkly duds and dancing shoes, crank up mood music, and fire-up microwave for a platter of McCain’s latest piquant-flavored Pizza-Pops!
And if a Canuck should ever invite you for a ride in a canoe ...bring along an extra paddle, a box of popcorn and don't forget to say "Cheese please!" (before snapping unforgettable photo of that saucy-looking Sasquatch!)
Theolonius McTavish, a kilted Celt with an aversion to bombastic bagpipe players, Blarney Stone kissers and boisterous beer drinkers, hangs his Tam O'Shanter on a happy hook in the Court of the Quipping Queen (www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com)when he's not tossing cabers (tree trunks)and compliments (terse titillations) for a living
Tranni D’Electric and why men are such pleasant pigs!Written by Tranni D'Electric.
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Oh, I’m not giving out, complaining, or anything, but these are just some of technical issues that I’m presented with. And while my life is consumed with such effluent goals or subject matter, it is hardly a wonder that I don’t have time to date.
I would also like to introduce a caveat. If any of you ladies out there should know of any man with excellent toilet practises, then let me know. In any case, my email account is 60 Kilobytes in capacity, and I don’t expect it to be full. Ever! Unless of course, that some man decides to use it as a toilet!
Going a little further, if any lady out there knows of a pig that is unattached, then I will certainly consider such an option.
Sincerely, Tranni D’Electric firstname.lastname@example.org
Tranni D'Electric is an "expert" columnist with TheTrivialTimes.com and is proficient with electronics.