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Growing up should, in theory, bring some relief to us parents. Of course, it is
being grown up that brings relief, and then we will look fondly back on these growing pains.
But until parental senility takes root, there are some hopeful signs. Little Lady has finally been toilet trained, which is mostly good. However, there are some unpredicted side effects. For instance, we used to be able to sleep through night. But now we get called to duty in wee hours of morning.
“Waaaaaa….aaahhhh!!!!”
“What’s matter, Little Lady?”
“I wet my undies.”
Fortunately, I can always go back to bed, and after twenty minutes, just as I am fading back into sleep…
“Mommy!”
“What is it now?”
“You’re not my mommy.”
“Your mommy is asleep, lucky for her. What do you need?”
“I need to go pee.”
Fortunately, I can always go back to my pillow, and after another twenty minutes, just as I am fading back into sleep…
“Mommy!”
“What is it this time?”
“You’re not my mommy.”
“Your mommy is still asleep. Let’s not wake her. What do you need now?”
“I need to poop.”
Fortunately, I can always crawl back under covers, and after another twenty minutes, just as I am finally fading back into sleep…
“Papa.”
“What now?”
“It’s morning.”
“Little Lady, it’s still dark.”
“No. Come here. Look out window. It’s not night any more. See? The sky is lighting. It’s a beautiful, sunny day. What are we going to do today, Papa?”
As I bring Little Lady downstairs to revel in joy of a new day on our green and milk colored carpet, I wonder why we bothered toilet training her. As I lift garbage bags to carry them to street, 120 yards away, I have my answer. Since Little Lady has abandoned those disposable diapers, we have been consuming much less garbage.
Now, if somebody would kindly push me down stairs so I can get some sleep…
