6. BE HUMAN - You may assume things will be fine, and suddenly a song brings back memories... then pain. Feel pain. Tears are an honest expression of love and sadness. It's okay. It's also okay to shift plans in moment if needed.

7. MEMORIALIZE YOUR LOVED ONE - Make a donation to a charity in honor of your loved one who has died. If you're depressed, make a donation to mental health research through NAMI.

8. TALK ABOUT THE DECEASED - It's healthy and normal to tell stories about deceased.

9. KEEP GOOD COMPANY - Choose to be around folks you feel safe and comfortable with during holiday season.

10. BE WARY OF QUICK FIXES - Folks who hurt are particularly vulnerable during holidays. Watch out for alcohol and drug abuse, over-spending etc.

11. PRACTICE GUIDE - Make a list of all gifts your loved one brought to world. Keep these close by. Or make a list of all things you're grateful for in your life.

12. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF - Practice love towards yourself that Christ taught us.

Please allow for your humanness, for fluctuations in your mood. If you are suffering, you're working with much less physical and emotional energy than most. Remember, grieving is nature's way of healing mind, body and spirit. Allow yourself access to grief, while your wounds heal. You'll be up and running again when it's time.

May God's healing arms wrap you up throughout holidays.

Did you know that having an identity crisis or upheaval every 10 years is considered normal and healthy, and identity is largely shaped by love and work? Case rests. Support systems for people in career transition are lagging woefully behind sea changes that are occurring in way we do work. But you are ultimately responsible for your attitude. Every day, single most important decision you make is your outlook toward your search. Here are some suggestions for maintaining positive momentum: Don’t be afraid to make a temporary job move, to buy time and diminish financial pressure. You can use it to check out some components of your eventual choice.

Consider territory between your ears – worry, self-criticism, confusion – a bad neighborhood. Don’t hang out there alone. Talk with someone, a friend or a professional, who is more objective about you and your abilities than you are.

Don’t shortchange your intuition. Trying to figure this out may not be best way. Let some insights/hunches/visions come to you.

You’re learning career development skills here. This will probably not be your final change.

Check out Po Bronson’s chatroom: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/life_goals. Your sense of being alone in your angst will dissolve. And finally, here’s a perspective I’d like to offer. Engaging courageously and wholeheartedly with question “What should I do?” is single most pro-active step you can take. After interviewing 900 people, Po concluded that biggest obstacle to answering question is guilt about taking it seriously. Work, when it’s right, is how we forge our place in world; process of finding it clarifies and hones who we are and who we want to be. Asking hard questions (What do I want? What impact do I want to have? Who do I want to become?) and giving time to inner and outer research, is surely one of most important life investments you can make.