For example, I wrote a story about my stepson Austin. I wanted to talk about what a great kid he is, but it was hard to find a starting point. So I started my first draft at beginning: "I was born at St. Francis Hospital in Beech Grove, Indiana on May 12, 1962 to Dorothy and Max Carr."

Well, okay, I didn't actually start at that particular beginning. But wanting to educate my readers, I gave all kinds of background information so that they would know where I'm coming from. My chronological list was a boring recitation of facts because I was afraid reader wouldn't "get it" otherwise. All history and little action, no emotion, no dialogue -- if I would have sent manuscript to magazine that way, no readers.

But going through this process always snaps me to my senses when I begin second draft. This time, I let my internal editor out and read through my manuscript and, TA DA, a beginning always arises from it, usually somewhere in middle. So I do a click, block text, right click, cut and get rid of all of text I wrote before my TA DA moment. And ensuing sigh is a sigh of relief and not one of frustration. I don't need all that history to tell story, but writing history helps jog my memory about when, what, where, how and who I do want to write.

If you're having trouble getting started, just sit down and write. When you get to action, dialogue, humor, tears, you've found your great beginning.

As for me, I'm keeping my eye on refrigerator box under overpass at Market Street ramp to downtown Indianapolis. If I ever see it's occupants, I might have to stop and ask my burning question, "were you a writer before you moved here?" But that's another story, and my column on great beginnings is now at end. Happy writing!

Flatter yourself – it’s allowed!:

If you’re good at something or proud of yourself for something, go ahead and blow your own trumpet. Confidence (not to be confused with a raging ego!) is an attractive quality and there are plenty of ways to flatter yourself while sounding modest: “My friends say I’m…” or, “If I had to describe one thing about myself that I like…”

Be honest:

Many people can’t resist urge to be less than completely honest when writing their online personals profile. Women tend to lie about their appearance and men about their status and physical prowess. There’s really no need. Online dating and personals services have thousands if not millions of members. You’ve got a great chance of meeting someone who’s attracted to real you, warts and all. Of course, there’s no need to tell your darkest secrets – just keep it real. You’ll be able to pursue relationships without having to worry about all lies you’ve spun. Honesty is an attractive trait.

Be passionate about your passions:

If you have a hobby or interest that you’re absolutely passionate about, that takes up a lot of your time and energy, go ahead and rave about it. It’s better that people know up front how important it is to you, and fellow fanatics will tune right in!

Be careful with humor:

Humor’s great but a super-dry or tongue-in-cheek sense of humor may not work well in writing. People don’t know you and can’t see twinkle in your eye. You’ll have ample opportunity to display your brand of wit when you’re communicating one-on-one with other members.

Say it with feeling:

Too many profiles read like a job application with flat phrases like, “I enjoy skiing, cooking and photography” which don’t really tell us much. Add emotions, thoughts and feelings into mix. The idea is to showcase your personality and make a connection on an emotional level.

Be positive:

Our bugbears say something about type of person we are but keep them to a minimum in your profile or they’ll say something bad! Focus on things that make you feel good and you'll come across as a fun date.

Don’t dwell on past relationships:

Too much talk of past relationships is a sure way to scare off potential dates. It doesn’t show much commitment to moving along in life with someone new. However, some services touch on subject in their profiles in which case you can give it a more interesting, positive twist by talking in general terms about lessons learned, where you are today and what your hopes are for future relationships.

Describe your ideal match in your own words:

If you have an opportunity to describe type of person you’re looking to meet in your own words, use it. If someone reads your profile and likes you, they’ll know right away whether or not they’re a likely candidate for your affections. On other hand, don’t be too picky or demanding! One idea is to limit yourself to three or four attributes that you value most in a partner and perhaps one big turn off (you want to keep it positive overall).

Describe kind of dates you enjoy:

Make it easy for people to ask you on a date by giving them an idea of kind of dates you enjoy. For instance, “I like a relaxing atmosphere where you can chat and get to know someone,” or, “Doing something new and exciting together is a great way to get to know someone.”

Promote yourself as a great date:

When someone likes what they read in your profile, they’ll probably wonder what kind of date you’d make. In other words, you seem interesting and attractive but would you be date from hell? Put this question to rest with upfront information that paints a great picture of what it would be like to date you. For instance, perhaps you’re a good listener who likes a quiet, relaxing atmosphere where you can talk and get to know someone, or a sociable energetic type who thinks that doing something new and exciting together is best way to get to know someone.

When your admirers know you’re on same page in terms of dating style, they’re more likely to take next step and ask you out, or at least to get to know you better, confident you’ll be a great date. And if your dating styles are completely out of tune, at least you’ve avoided finding it out hard way - on that date from hell.

Create a Master Profile:

Save all your profile information and entries in a master file so you don’t have to start from scratch if you’re planning on using more than one service. Profiles vary considerably from service to service but many parts will be similar.

Make Changes:

Last but not least, don’t forget that your profile isn’t written in stone! It’s fast and easy to make any changes you like, so don’t fret too much about perfection!

Copyright 2004 Caroline Mackenzie