A supervisor develops a rapport with, and looks after interests of, workers. The supervisor becomes coach, protector, friend, and nurturer of workers. A supervisor needs to be diligent in use of workers physical and emotional resources.

A supervisor might say to workers,"The company is on a tangent to come down on anybody who misses work or comes in late, so I'm asking everyone to make an extra effort to get to work on time until this blows over. They have also been complaining about a few mistakes we made, so can anyone think of a way we can double check our work to keep them off our back?"

What goes on behind closed doors.

It seems like manager is a stern taskmaster, while supervisor is a good, kind person. But behind closed doors, manager and supervisor have conspired together and are playing that familiar game "bad cop, good cop", where "bad cop" threatens and intimidates suspect, while "good cop" sympathizes with and befriends suspect.

The manager is feeding supervisor all inside information about organization and company's objectives. The supervisor is feeding manager all inside information about workers' problems and performance issues. Together, they formulate a plan to get maximum performance from workers and meet company's objectives.

The supervisor might say to manager, "I'll tell Betty that I explained to you about her personal problems, but you said if she misses one more day of work you'll fire her."

The manager might say to supervisor, "Start packing some of equipment we don't use every day, but if anyone asks, say it hasn't been decided yet if our department is going to move to Ohio."

Out on floor.

The workers are performing well because their supervisor is a good guy who understands their personal problems and looks after their interests. Occasionally, supervisor has to deliver some bad news to workers, but it's not supervisor's fault. Blame it on "bad cop" manager.

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Next, don't wait for others to approach you. Yes, I know it is a bit uncomfortable for some, perhaps you. So think about how great you feel when someone takes initiative to walk up to you and introduces themselves. Then you do same.

Acquire and practice several good conversation openers. The best technique is art of asking intelligent questions that convey impression there is depth and style to your personality. Show them that they could benefit by getting spending more time with you.

When you make an interesting contact, focus all your attention on that single person. Don't let your eyes wander around room. Keep eye contact and actively listen. Give that person sense that you have been waiting all evening just to meet them. In other words, make them feel important.

Learn art of small talk. Call it chit chat or even foreplay if you like. Its purpose is to put people at east. It starts with finding an area of common interest. This means knowing just right questions to ask, and at precisely right moment. Always remember, small talk doesn't teach, preach, or try to impress. It is just light and easy conversation.

Do your homework. If possible review names of people attending, their spouses or partners, their affiliations. If you can recall any prior contacts, refer to that to open conversation. That will appreciate fact that you remember.

Finally, common sense tells us not arrive late, drink too much, dress too casually, or push your agenda excessively. Don't glue yourself to one person whole night just because they are fascinating, mingle.

Few things personally or professionally happen by accident. Consider going to your next command performance (that's what it is) totally prepared. Then watch how much fun you can have when you know why you are there, and can tell your story with style and humor, persuasively.

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Oscar Bruce is considered ultimate personal communications guru. His dynamic books are field manuals for managing conversation or confrontations. His website offers verbal strategies that can add power to your conversations. His FREE newsletter is available at http://oscarbruce.com

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