* Choose words you use for yourself purposefully. Words have a powerful impact on how we feel and think about ourselves and others. Words can hurt, flatten, and wound. Words can also encourage, empower, heal. Choose words, when you think about yourself, that are positive, kind, and loving.

* Listen to alternative, healing music. If you only look for one song, check out Libby Roderick's "How Could Anyone," on her cd If You See a Dream. The lyrics are a powerful, healing affirmation: "How could anyone ever tell you, you were anything less than beautiful, how could anyone ever tell you, you were less than whole?"

* Listen to children's music. I'm not kidding. There are some wonderful, empowering, encouraging children's songs. Check out "Proud of Me" and "Me" sung by Sesame Street's Grover on "The Best of Grover"; "Happy Place," "It's okay," "Sing a happy song," "We'll Fill World With Love," amd "What a wonderful world" by Rosenshontz, "Believe in Yourself," "But I Like You," by Sesame Street;

* Read a book or comic strip that makes you feel good. Feeling good helps get you into that receptive space where you can take in good messages. A book that always makes me feel good, and gives me positive, healing messages is 39 Ways to Open Your Heart by Arlene Gay Levine and Karen Kroll. The messages are like healing affirmations, and artwork is stunning.

Another of my favourite things to read when I want a huge splash of good feeling is any of Rose Is Rose collected comic strips. They affirm playful child in me, and usually reading them in large doses (such as a book) leave me feeling happy. You can check out thirty days of comic strip here, or check out these Rose Is Rose email greetings that give you feel of what comic is all about.

* Write yourself a loving letter. Write yourself a letter that mentions all things you love about yourself. Go into as much detail as you want. If you have trouble writing it, think of a friend who loves you, and try to write it from their perspective. Then mail yourself letter.

Repeatedly telling positive messages to yourself, and taking them in, can work to build up your love for yourself, and help you to be more open to good things within you, and arouond you. It can also build up your resistance to critical, hurtful messages, and help you to feel happier. So what are you waiting for? Give yourself a positive message right now. And believe it.

Resources:

* Levine, Arlene Gay and Karen Kroll. 39 Ways to Open Your Heart, Conari Press: California, 1996. A beautiful book with loving, healing messages that read like meditations, and stunning, beautiful artwork. It seems to be temporarily out of print, but you can usually find copies at AbeBooks.com * Rose Is Rose, 30 days online Rose Is Rose email greetings * watch some of my affirmation cards online * Libby Roderick's "How Could Anyone" song

© Cheryl Rainfield, 2002 http://www.CherylRainfield.com All rights reserved.

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So, in working on this resource, I learned something valuable for myself. I am coming to my senses! A boundary is no good at all if it only works when things are easy. The fence has got to hold up to resistance or it is no fence at all. And base reason why we can’t hold our own in these emotional situations is fear. “If I do this, what will happen?” Well, we can’t control anyone but ourselves, and we can’t control outside situations! If I have to live inside this fence then I need to make it be as comfortable for myself in there as possible. Because I deserve to be happy, empowered and at peace. And so do you!

When you learn that you are just as deserving of respect as anyone else, you will begin to build your boundary/fence, and to hold to it. If your fence needs to be ridden to find areas that are weak or down, do it. The rewards are immeasurable, and consequences of a weak boundary are a life that is less than you deserve.

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