I'll let you in on a little secret. I don't really like use of word PARTNER in connection with marriage.

True, we've used it up to now, for want of a better term. It does come in handy to describe a good marriage relationship, up to a point.

Yet, I hardly think that an ideal marriage relationship is a "partnership" in same sense that we talk about a business partnership, for example. Not at all. When we think of a partnership, we usually think about a contract between two parties. A 50-50 sharing of responsibilities,or like.

A little confused? Well, let me explain!

Do you have children? Good! Do you love them?

"What a question!" you exclaim, "Gee, how I love them!"

"Don't you know sacrifices we made for them? From moment they came into this world, when they depended on us for their very survival, my spouse and I gave them our all. Just as much as a whimper from them in middle of night, and we were there to attend to their needs. Even now, they may disappoint us, anger us or hurt us, but we continue to cater to their every whim...Do you need any greater proof that we love them!"

So...is that why you've done so much for them - because you love them so much?

Could be. But even more, I'd say it's other way round: You love them so intensely BECAUSE you've done so much for them!

This is nothing more or less than human nature, and I think there's a great lesson for us here. We need to think about this very carefully.

Sometimes, when two people begin to think about marrying each other, they think in terms of some business arrangement. Whether they verbally express it that way or not, their minds work something along these lines:

"You have needs and I have needs. Maybe, if I satisfy yours, you will satisfy mine. You wash dishes and I'll pay rent. Sundays to Tuesdays I'll take out garbage, and for remainder of week you will. Other duties will be divided by mutual consent. For every suit I buy, you can buy two pairs of shoes..."

If this is marriage you want, good luck to you! It's a free world. But will you be happy? I mean, really happy? I wonder.

Many people will tell you that for a happy marriage, you need what they describe as "give-and-take".

Give and take? Nonsense! Forget about it!

What you need is "give and give." And give again. And again.

That's royal road to happiness.

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Copyright © 2004 Azriel Winnett

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2.Work to establish Emotional Intelligence programs at school and at work that teach respect and social norms.

3.Observe good manners with your tech equipment and teach your children that with privilege comes responsibility.

Pay attention, do your job and supervise. One middle schooler given a cell phone quickly racked up a bill over $1,500.

Establish rules with your child or teenager and enforce them. Don’t allow your children to have computers in their bedrooms, teach them respect for others, and educate them in use of any potentially harmful object (just as do bikes, microwaves, power tools, electric knives, gas grills, guns and cars).

Go over what bullying is and make direct inquiries of your child. Here is a list of symptoms of both bullied and bully - http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/LondonFreePress/News/2003/09/02/174030.html . It's considered preferred bullying method of girls, BTW.

4.Get informed.

Know as much as your child does and monitor. For instance, you can check on cheating and bullying by clicking into phone’s text messaging history.

5.Speak up and teach your child to.

School officials say 85% of bullying occurs when there is only a peer present. Both school bullying and work bullying ( http://www.webstrategies.cc/mobbing.htm ) rely on victim remaining silent.