Take responsibility The reality is that you can’t change anyone else’s behaviour but your own. So now is a good time to stop blaming others for what’s happened to you. You are where you are today because of choices and decisions that you made. Accept that, and choose to make decisions in future that take you towards a more satisfying life.

Take a long term view When was last time you thought about where you personally wanted to be in 5 or 10 years time? We get so caught up in “doing” things - for business, for work, for others – things we think we should be doing, that we take no time to consider what we really want.

Take time to think what’s really important to you, and where you would like to be. What are core values that you'd like to base your life around? What do you love to do or to be? What gives you a sense of purpose? If we haven’t allowed ourselves to think along these lines, answers may not come immediately. For impatient and perfectionist people reading, this is not a test – there is no pass or fail. So don’t treat it like one. The more you know about yourself, more you will be able to understand how you would like you life to look.

Design a life, not a lifestyle Do you know what difference is between having a life and maintaining a lifestyle? A lifestyle is something we are told we need - by society, advertisers, and parents. Life's luxuries, although nice to have, can be expensive financially and often tempt us to stay on treadmill to pay for them! Perhaps energy spent maintaining a lifestyle might be better used turning your life into an expression of who you are. A lifestyle buys comfort. A life buys satisfaction and contentment.

It’s never too late to jump off treadmill, so why not get started today. Life is way too short to be a slave to that particular machine.

Over years in corporate world, I learned to view feedback as data. The more data I got, more information I had to improve what I was working on. Realizing I was in charge of how I used that feedback data, I learned to seek it. Feedback is opinion; not fact. It's something to evaluate; not blindly accept.

But, I find when several people have same perception, it's good to listen. When I get insights I hadn't thought about, it's good to consider them. When input is mixed, it's good to follow my instincts. But when people provide feedback with a hatchet, finding only fault rather than offering ideas for improvement, it's good to look at it with distant curiosity.

Bottom line: if you want to be winning at working you must learn to seek and offer well-intentioned feedback. I think of it like Sicilian proverb: "Only your real friends will tell you your face is dirty." Let input, suggestions, and feedback be real friends at work.

(c) 2004 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.