Getting What You Want Most From Other People

Written by Peter Murphy

Continued from page 1

It is possible to let go of wanting approval if you knowrepparttar right questions to ask yourself, then you will be able to releaserepparttar 102042 neediness and instead feel your own approval of yourself which then causes others to reflect that acceptance back to you.

Ask yourself, which would I rather have, wanting approval or having approval? Ask this question again and again even for up to ten minutes at a time and you will find that your feelings shift and you will feel better about yourself and less attached to getting approval from other people.

Test this for yourself when you are alone as well as when you are with other people. I find that my breathing changes and I start to feel more at peace within minutes when I use this approach. Enjoy!

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert and published author. Subscribe FREE to his upbeat newsletter and get a FREE e-book, which reveals secret strategies for supercharging your communication skills. To join send an email to:>


Written by Richard Lowe

Continued from page 1

- Base your reprimand on production, company policy andrepparttar law. For example, if you find out a young man who works for you is visiting strip clubs on Saturday evening (outside of work), well, it's really none of your business (as a boss). It might become your business if he started bringing your customers to repparttar 102041 same clubs ...

- Don't play games. You arerepparttar 102042 boss, just berepparttar 102043 boss.

- Stay ethical yourself. It's pretty silly for a boss to be delivering a reprimand to someone about drinking onrepparttar 102044 job if, say, he's doing cocaine inrepparttar 102045 back room each night before going home.

- Deliverrepparttar 102046 reprimand as soon as possible. The longer you wait, repparttar 102047 worserepparttar 102048 situation is going to get. Remember, in this universe, things tend to get worse if they are left unhandled, not better.

- Keep your cool and be as unemotional as possible. Remember, your goal is to correct a behavior, not belittle a person or make them feel bad (or even good for that matter) or anything like that. You simply want to tell them something needs to be corrected and you want them to correct it.

- The correction should be immediate. For example, ifrepparttar 102049 employee comes in an hour late on Monday and you tell them to come in on time from now on, and on Tuesday they are late again, then uprepparttar 102050 ante and deliver a stronger, more formal reprimand. It's usually not a good idea to give someone "some time" to fix a problem or correct their behavior.

- Don't necessarily start off "hard", especially ifrepparttar 102051 employee is normally doing good work. You can start off with a question: for example, "I noticed you've been taking a two hour lunch repparttar 102052 last three days, what's up with that?" Ifrepparttar 102053 employee has a valid reason, well, so be it. Otherwise, tell him it's not acceptable.

- Modify your "hardness" torepparttar 102054 employees productivity. Productive employees should always get far more slack than non-productive ones. If, for example, a traditionally difficult employee was late for work I'd probably start offrepparttar 102055 reprimand with a blunt statement "work begins at 9am and you need to be in at 9am". Onrepparttar 102056 other hand, a productive employee might get a "hey, I noticed you are coming in late - what's up with that?"

- An exception torepparttar 102057 above advice, however, is any kind of harassment. An employee has a right to expect a safe work environment. Atrepparttar 102058 first sign of any kind of racial, sexual, religious or similar harassment, you MUST immediately sendrepparttar 102059 whole matter over to your personnel department. Believe me, you want to handle these kinds of issues fast - and you want your personnel department dealing with them. For example, if a female employee tells you (or you find out) that she's being sexually harassed, then don't even question her any further - get her sitting down in front ofrepparttar 102060 appropriate person in personnel NOW (or do whatever your company policy says to do - torepparttar 102061 letter).

Let's say, for example, that you are in a meeting and you notice "George" give a "more than friendly pat" to "Tina" on repparttar 102062 way out. Or perhaps, inrepparttar 102063 same meeting, you observe "Sam" make a racial slur about Arabs to an Arab employee. Report these IMMEDIATELY, regardless of whether or not you supervise these people. There is NO PLACE IN THE WORKPLACE for this kind of behavior.

- Treat everyonerepparttar 102064 same. Let's say, for example, that you are not particularly fond of Martians, but you happen to have a Martian working for you. Treatrepparttar 102065 person as you would any other person and ignore his green skin. The point is simple. Outside of work you,repparttar 102066 boss, can be as prejudiced as you want. At work, you have to treat them allrepparttar 102067 same, regardless of what you think. And, byrepparttar 102068 way, that'srepparttar 102069 law (at least it'srepparttar 102070 law inrepparttar 102071 United States).

- Don't buckle to their excuses and emotions (unless backed by facts). If you tellrepparttar 102072 person he cannot come back to work drunk, then don't fall forrepparttar 102073 tears and sad-story about how stressful work is and how they need to relax or something during lunch. Sure, work is stressful, but getting drunk at lunch and spendingrepparttar 102074 rest ofrepparttar 102075 day being silly and unproductive is still not appropriate.

- Onrepparttar 102076 other hand, don't be a complete hard case. Let's say Sam is late for work and you take him aside and tell him it's not appropriate. Sam tells you, well, his mother is sick and he has to deal with her inrepparttar 102077 morning. Now you have solid facts and you can change to matchrepparttar 102078 situation. Work with Sam to come up with an appropriate solution. Perhaps he needs to come into work at 10am and leave at 7pm for a month?

- Be aware ofrepparttar 102079 law before you deliver reprimands, as you investigate, and while you are deliveringrepparttar 102080 reprimand. For example, say Jane's productivity has been falling off and you investigate. You talk to her and find out she has asthma, and she has trouble working becauserepparttar 102081 air conditioner is throwing dust into her face. Well, there are laws about Americans with Disabilities, and you must make a reasonable effort to make it possible for her to work. Period. So, if you find this out,repparttar 102082 reprimand must change into a "what can we do to make it possible for you to be productive" meeting. It may be that you can salvage a good employee simply by adding a filter torepparttar 102083 air conditioning for a few hundred dollars!

The point is very simple. You arerepparttar 102084 boss - act like it. If you find out someone is doing something wrong, then deal with it - immediately.

Richard Lowe Jr. is the webmaster of Internet Tips And Secrets at - Visit our website any time to read over 1,000 complete FREE articles about how to improve your internet profits, enjoyment and knowledge.

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