Current day, it has been fairly uneventful; easy jog past horde of slow-moving decayed masses. That is until I am now met with hardest choice I’ve ever had to make. From out of crowds has come a familiar face. Who else could it be but iconic American singer, film actress, director and producer extraordinaire? Yes, it is Barbara Streisand, and she is in way. There are no 2 ways about it. If I want that crystal serving tray I am going to have to take my trusty pink chainsaw to her crooked zombie nose. Or should I accept defeat, and allow my role model to pass curse on to me? Could be an honor really, but it could be worst defeat of my life (and end of it, for that matter).

What should I do? Please, I need your help because my logic is not sound at moment. Visit me at http://www.nolifeonline.com , and hurry! I do not have much time.

It is estimated that 64.5% of American adults are now categorized as overweight according to American Asssociation Obesity. As if that's not enough, more than 40% of household pets today are said to be obese, causing alarm among nation's pet-insurance providers as health-related illness claims for "Max" or "Minnie" spiral out of control.

According to Amazon.com, (a remarkable database of delightful doggie doodads for canine consumers), there's something for everyone who enjoys a bit of "Rufus retail therapy". Forget about "letting sleeping dogs lie", or "teaching old dogs new tricks", because if one's keen about making sure "every dog has his day", then "putting on dog" is all that's required (plus a valid credit card of course).

In case anyone thought that America is going to dogs, they could be right! Here’s a hint of how important these pooch products and dandy “dogs” of all kinds are to economy of world’s richest country:

Home & Garden (48,579) Books (19,991) Apparel (6,870) Kitchen & Housewares (1,110) Tools & Hardware (898) Sports & Outdoors (804) Outdoor Living (678) Jewelry, Diamonds & Watches (543) Video (424) Automotive (300) Health & personal Care (295) Toys & Games (262) DVD (182) Gourmet Food (158) Everything Else (154) Electronics (151) Classical Music (139) Office Products (101) Software (91) Musical Instruments (55) Magazine Subscriptions (40) Computer & Video Games (33) Computers (21) Baby (21) Imaginarium (20) Camera & Photo (3) Beauty (2) Wireless Accessories (2) Movie Showtimes (1) Restaurant Menus (295) Industrial Supplies (279) Lifestyle & Gifts (140) Arts & Hobbies (139) Scientific Supplies (85) Home Furnishings (49) Medical Supplies (47) Free Music Downloads (28) ZShops (14,904) Meanwhile across pond in England, professionals from "PetPlanet" point out that one insurance company has collected file cabinets of doggy data about which mutts have highest accident-rate. So do take care and avoid naming silly scamp Rush, Fagin, Heinze, Berty, Ruskin, Jena, Cagney, Captain, Brook, or Radar please.

Lest anyone think that life has not gone to dogs, one only has to read anecdotes of Aesop (whom it seems had a penchant for pooch platitudes judging from his wildebeest works entitled “The Dog in Manger”, “The Dog and Wolf” and “The Fox, The Cock and Dog”).

May Force of Fido be with you and yours forever and ever! PS...and don't forget to celebrate 55th anniversary of "Snoopy" (the best-known, blinking beagle in town) plus all gang from "Peanuts" cartoon strip this year!