The next category is sweetly named ‘Dandy Candy-land committee.’ The sound of these names are enough for a life-time supply of insulin shots and give one a compelling urge to stock-up on countless tubes of toothpaste. For instance, Carmel and Candy….even a salt addict would get cheek pangs simply by sound. Maybe, just maybe, I am a little prejudiced because my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend is named Candy. Before I know her name, I asked him what it was and he told me. I only had to ask him once….the toothache and acne breakout brings back terrible memories.

Yes, I know, you’re wondering if Kitty and Candy work together serving my ex-boyfriend mixed drinks. Not only do they work together, they are also very close. Last week, Carmel overheard Candy telling Kitty, “You’re best friend I’ve had since my cat, Mufkins, died.”

Well, it would appear that at last holes are being drilled in ships hull, with a view to its eventual removal sometime this coming autumn. And as I type this, I can hear drilling coming from garage as my new landlord slowly gets my new accommodation finished.

It’s now June and we moved in on February 28th and still he drills away aimlessly, every other week, for a couple of hours and I think I know how that damn ship must feel.

The misery of eviction is bad enough. In my case, a solution has been found. As we waded through flood that had appeared at our new front door on wettest day of year so far, waves listlessly, muddily seeping round front door, at least it’s a roof over family’s head.

And of course there’s white horses. From back of house we have them galloping around doing it all very well and gracefully but come October Tricolor will remember white horses as just a fond and distant memory.

(Never look these gift horses in mouth. I had no idea how to tie this one up but I think that last bit just saved me.

And you.)