4. Be assertive on what's fueling you, as diligent about all things in your realm, as quality of food you digest, and purity of water you drink.

To create a garden of positive habits, surround yourself with flowers not figurative speaking either. Complete a regular inventory. See each item for its truth, intention, and influence. Don't wave it off as "not that big of a deal."

Remove negative people, negative television shows, movies, books, even conversations. If Mama, spouse, sister, or brother fits this description, explain its impact on your life. Don't blame, explain. Explain how it affects your success, your dreams. I'm sure they do what they do out of habit and not purposeful. If presented honestly and lovingly people involved will see gift.

An ideal choice is to use a positive clean-burning fuel. This begins with new words (language) to self and others. Each of us make choices every second. Get up, sit down, speak, listen, and so on. Make new choices, ones that fuel positive habits.

Take inventory on your environment and what you tolerate. What is broken, dented, stained? Fix, toss, give away, replace. Eliminate each ball and chain, one at a time, in baby steps. You will walk taller, talk and think clearer. You will attract more results that are positive into your life. Positive attracts positive--the Law of Attraction.

Fuel your surroundings with meaningful and beautiful things. That doesn't mean expensive. It can simply be a fresh rose on your desk every week and stopping by florist or your own garden.

Many habits tend to hide under bed until dusted. Expect as you replace one, another can appear. Yes, they eventually become fewer. Stay focused and remember, "A rose isn't a rose without all its beautiful petals."

Be aggressive. When they appear, and they will, knock them down, toss them out with trash. And quickly. Don't give them room to smell or grow. You'll soon discover each day will be lighter, brighter, and even more successful than one before. I promise!

These four techniques, continually proven by hundreds of my workshop graduates, will work for you too. They will multiply your dreams and successes over night. Begin small, begin big, just begin, and keep momentum going...until.

(c) Copyright 2004, Catherine Franz. All rights reserved.

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As long as Maria is tuned into to Andrea’s needs and feelings and not aware of her own, she will continue to be invisible to Andrea and others. Maria needs to learn to take all consciousness she developed over years regarding others’ feelings and needs and apply that same consciousness to her own feelings and needs. This is a difficult challenge because she has been practicing tuning into others while ignoring herself for her whole life.

I have had this same challenge. It was such a shock to me to discover years ago that, rather than being loving person I thought I was, I was attempting to control how others felt about me by being “nice”. By putting myself aside and doing what I thought others wanted me to do, and being what I thought others wanted me to be, I was trying to control getting love and approval and avoiding disapproval. The result was that I was anxious around others who were important to me, always fearing that I would say or do something wrong and experience rejection I so feared.

When I finally realized that being loving meant being loving to myself as well as to others, I turned my eyes inward and started to practice becoming aware of my own feelings and needs. Instead of making others responsible for defining my worth and lovability through their approval, I took on responsibility of defining my own worth and lovability. I developed a strong connection with a spiritual source of love and wisdom, which helped me to see truth of who I really am. I learned to be an advocate for myself, seeing myself and speaking up for my own feelings and needs rather than making others responsible for seeing me.

I am no longer a “good girl” having to do everything right to please others and gain their approval. I am no longer “nice” as a form of manipulation. That’s not to say that being loving to others is not a very high priority - it is. But now I include myself in equation rather than expecting others to love me enough to feel safe, adequate, worthy and lovable.

Maria is also learning to love herself rather than control others. At one point, she wanted to leave both her job and her relationship, but she realized that she would just continue same patterns in another job or relationship. By staying and learning to see and speak up for herself, her relationships with Andrea and her boyfriend are improving.