Let me give you an example. When I was about six years old my parents divorced. As I was eldest of two boys I was told that I was "man of house." At six years of age I had no idea of how to be man of house. This thought was enforced by being repeated by loving family members throughout my childhood. I was often told that I was "..doing a great job as man of house..." The truth of matter was that I didn't know how to be man of house. But, I quickly learned that as long as I did nothing "wrong" they would love me.

Over years this developed into, "...If I do nothing, they will still love me..." As a result there are many instances where I "did nothing" It was a safe place to be. It was also a roadblock to becoming successful. For doing nothing results in nothing.

So what to do? The very first thing that I had to dig deep within and uncover what I knew was there. My Purpose for BEing. With careful cultivation I developed a statement that make my heart sing. The purpose of my life is to share with individuals (just like you) REALITY of Living every moment with Love, Harmony and Mindful Abundance.

Now when those thoughts of "do nothing" appear, I choose to shift towards truly living on Purpose. I use that word "towards" on purpose as well. We get so excited that we recogize these old limiting patterns are running show so we are constantly shifting....and not getting anywhere with it. If a shift is based in fear, and shift is based in running away from your old limiting patterns then it is destined to be shallow and not entirely effective.

My good friend, Julie Jordan Scott, put it this way: "When a shift is based on Moving Towards your TRUE purpose and you are INTENTIONALLY and truly FOCUSED on your life purpose, you have a tool which can be life changing."

So now when question is asked, For What Purpose? I have an answer.

2 Be other person

Revisit conversation again only this time cycle through it as if you were other person. Imagine what it was like to be there looking at you and listening to you. You are now walking in their shoes so as to get a close up look at what it is like to deal with you.

You may find that you spot reasons why conversation did not go as well as you would have liked.

3 Ask yourself - how did I get result I achieved?

In this stage of process you put responsibility on your shoulders alone for outcome of conversation. Blaming others will not help you to think creatively for solutions and ways to better your conversational skills.

Revisit that conversation one more time as neutral observer and one time as other person. In each case look for answer to question: how did I get this result? Then ask yourself: what could I do differently to get what I really want?

You will discover ways to change your approach that can dramatically improve how you communicate when it matters most.

By using this approach I often spot opportunities to use more emphasis on key points and value of being enthusiastic when I want someone to consider my opinion. At other times I notice that I could listen more carefully instead of just getting carried away with my own agenda.

Play with this way of developing perspective for yourself and have fun spotting all little differences that add up to a big difference in your ability to speak with impact.