4) Use behavior modification techniques Behavior modification has gotten a bad rap of late, probably due to many ways in which its principles have been misused. However, used properly, behavior modification techniques can remove unpleasant behaviors and return sanity to your family. If you don't know basics of behavior modification, here is a site that can bring you up to speed quickly: http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/behsys/behmod.html A few tips to help you begin Before you begin, you must clearly define what outcome you want to achieve. For example, you find that you are spending an increasing amount of time waiting for your elder to get ready for an outing. If you want your elder to be on time, make that specified outcome. Identify your elder's positive reinforcers. Clearly they do not respond to your annoyance (or are you even allowing your irritation to show?), but they do enjoy outings. Tie outcome to reinforcer in a clear statement, for example, "If you are ready at 10:15, we will go shopping." Shape behavior you want. If your elder is habitually 30 minutes late, it is unlikely that they will suddenly be on time. So, decide in advance to shape their behavior. For example, you may choose to wait 20 minutes. If they are not ready, leave without them. Once that behavior has been established, wait only 10 minutes, then only five. By using this tactic, you will arrive at outcome you desire with a minimum of pain. Punishment. Punishers can work - if they are severe and immediate. However, they increase likelihood that you'll get results you didn't anticipate or want! Locking someone in a room or closet is punishment. Don't go there! Extinction. Use extinction techniques rather than punishers to get rid of unwanted behaviors. Extinction is simple. Offer no reaction to bad behavior. Don't talk about it. Don't react to it. Leave room, leave house if you must. But remove opportunity for reinforcement of such behaviors. Be aware that it will take time for extinction techniques to carry out your goal. Also realize that frequency of undesirable behavior may actually increase while extinction is occurring. Be patient and resolved. You'll get there if you don't weaken. 5) Identify your own contribution to difficult parents and difficult families

Perhaps most difficult (and perhaps most useful) technique is to identify your own contribution to problem, and stop it! ·Are you taking course of least resistance and putting up with undesirable behavior because it's too difficult to change it. ·Do you avoid conflict at all costs? ·Could you be afraid to give up your position as "favorite" or "good?" ·Do you feel emotionally superior when you deny your own needs to attend to those of others? Any of these may lead to more difficulties in future, so give them up. Decide what you can do within reason, and do that. If you need help, ask for it. You can deal with problems of difficult parents and difficult families if you are willing.

The good news here is that there are lots of web sites that offer very practical advise no matter your current condition. From simple things you can do while sitting down to how to train for your next marathon, information is available and free to all with a dial up connection.

3. Foods. Food used to be just food. Now there are super-foods and foods that help you accomplish specific goals. You can find a wealth of great information online about foods that help in specific ways.

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The bottom line is this. Your health matters. How you choose to live today will be reflected in lives of your children. In 2003 we are blessed with an abundance of free information to help us create a healthy, happy family history for our children and improve our everyday lives as well.

With great health comes freedom to make more money, enjoy rich relationships we all cherish, try new and exciting activities and more. The tools are all at your disposal.

Make 2003 your best year yet. Take time to evaluate where you stand now, where you want to be, and how to cross that divide. Dare to dream and your dreams will come true!