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3. Gianni took a job as a fundraiser. He found out within
first month he was expected to travel over a 400 mile radius regularly (which hadn’t been mentioned previously), and work most weekends as well as 40 hours at his desk. Gianni apologized to his wife, prepared his resume, and found a new job as soon as he could.
RULE NO. 3: YOU WILL HAVE A MINI-CRISIS AT HOME
Appliances know when you've taken a new job. j.k. But I hear an awful lot of stories about things falling apart at home when someone takes a new job. Why? Murphy's Law, I guess. And while I teach optimism, as part of Emotional Intelligence, I think it's just best to optimistically anticipate riding through some bumps at home during your first few weeks on a new job.
Be optimistic about YOUR ABILITY TO COPE, not about LIVING IN A PERFECT WORLD.
It's like when you're having houseguests for Thanksgiving, and
whole extended family to your home for
big dinner. Yes, your dishwasher, garbage disposal, washing machine or dryer, or heating system, or some or all of these things will break. It's happened to me so many times, I just laugh. It takes less energy than crying. In fact it bolsters your immune system to laugh. See Rule No. One.
THE KEY: MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL PREPARATION
Mental and emotional preparation are
key to surviving
adjustment. Understand that if you’re feeling stressed, your immune system will be under duress. Do what you can to bolster it - eat right, exercise, stay healthy, get enough sleep. And most of all, don't over-react to it.
Understand that
reality of any situation rarely lives up to what was reported, or what your expectations were. Expect some things to be better than advertised, some worse, some
same. Ride it out. Give it time before you form your final opinions. If it turns out to be a "draw" that's okay.
At home, get
troops supporting you and
new situation, and cut yourself some slack on
home front. Enter
job if you can, well-prepared as to home and car repairs and wardrobe. Then relax about these things for some weeks, while you cope with
new job. Nothing short of real "emergencies" need
immediate attention you may be used to giving them. Even a lawn can go 2-3 weeks without
neighbors calling
Lawn Patrol. You can buy your "groceries" at
convenience store on
corner a few times without busting
budget. The spare bedroom will always be there to clean when you can get around to it.
Don't over-react, and even worse, don't clamp down.
When in a new situation, it's our "default" mode (if we're not mindful), to get rigid and want to apply order to
chaos. Many new situations in life, such as a new job or a new baby, simply don't lend themselves to that. Don't waste energy and stress your immune system further by getting rigid. Be willing to let some things go for a while, and to take a second, longer look at some of
things that surprise you you weren’t counting on.
The bottom line: Lose some battles in order to win
war. It's all about life balance.

(c)Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, business programs, Internet courses, teleclasses and ebooks around emotional intelligence. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. I train and certify EQ coaches. Email me for info on this affordable, fast, effective program with no residency requirement.