Upon reflection, I can honestly say that every goal I've ever felt passionate about rooted from this list. Without realizing it, I had made most of my life choices from this list.

By identifying your true motivations and desires, it becomes easier to find direction in life. Now we know where your goals come from. What's root beneath your dreams? There is no right or wrong answers, just ideas at core of you. We could probably analyze what in your past makes you want to become things you put on your list. We could analyze how close you are to being all of things you've listed. It's not important. What matters is that now you know what it is you're aspiring to become.

Now it may seem to you that most of things you had originally dreamed of creating were gifts you would share with others. You were going to put kids through school. You were going to go on more vacations with your spouse. You were going to share your music with world. You didn't think you were being selfish. And you're right. You were not being selfish. It's just that everything we do serves us in some way. Every gift we give is every bit a gift to ourselves also. You give gift of a college education to your children and you give yourself gift of being a good parent in your own eyes, or gift of being a supporter of others in your own eyes. You get gift of seeing yourself as a good person. Give gift of music to world and you get to see yourself as a musician. You get to be what it is that you want to be.

By acknowledging to yourself how you want to be seen and what you want to be remembered for, you get in touch with your true purpose and what it is that drives you. Don't beat yourself up if you find that you want to be something that might sound stuck up or egotistical. It's okay to want to be liked, admired, respected. It's not like your root motivation is to be envied, or to be superior to everyone else. It's okay to want to be attractive, intelligent, prosperous. We've convinced ourselves somewhere along way that it's somehow wrong or evil to want to be wonderful or to be successful. The truth is, most of us would give back in appreciation for our successes. Most of us would spend more time with our loved ones. Most of us would give to charity. Most of us would do more volunteer work if we really had time and means. Nobody ever writes down "I want to be... greedy, selfish, and spoiled." We want to be positive wonderful things so that we can share our positive wonderful gifts with each other. Give yourself permission to become whatever it is on your list that really resonates within your heart.

Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

When I did this exercise back in 1998, I had my children do it too. We sat around kitchen table and did it together as a family activity. My daughter was eight years old at time and found that she is "giggly, nice, giving, kind, a great friend, smart, funny, and loving." She already knew that, but enjoyed confirmation. My son suffered a lot of emotional insecurities at time because he'd been misdiagnosed as having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He was shocked to find that he is "nice follows dreams, strong, giving, active, fast, smart, playful, loving, funny, believes in 'the Force,' laughfull, fun, and brave." I had been telling him for years that he possessed those qualities but he thought I was prejudice because I'm his mom. He began making a huge turn around in his emotional well-being by acknowledging these wonderful traits within himself. I found strength to start my own business and to finally pursue a career as a motivational speaker and writer.

At time, it was pretty easy to tell myself that I am giving, kind, loyal, intelligent, and believe in 'the Force.' On other hand, I really struggled with concepts that I had no worries about money, a joyful attitude, self-confidence, and a sense of humor. I wanted desperately to be like that, but I didn't think I really followed dreams and I wasn't too sure that I wasn't a quitter after all. Over years, I have learned many lessons and have experienced enough of truth of this to know that yes I am exactly those things on that list. I have also learned that things I most despised in others was indeed things I wanted to work on in myself. The rule really does apply in both directions.

As I've been writing this article, I've been thinking about what it would be like to re-do exercise now. Would my children's lists be different? Would mine? I think my children's lists would reflect a more adult perspective, but I think they'd still show most of same traits. I might add some new names to my list, but I suspect that I would come up with a very similar list of traits. We might uncover more traits, but I doubt that we'd remove any. It's most likely that traits follow us throughout our lives. It reminds me of that old saying, "wherever you go, there you are."

In finding our good traits, we uncover our true potential. We have something to live up to. We can measure our conduct and choices against list. How much of our inner-struggle, like my son's, comes from not realizing our gifts? How much comes from realizing our potential and not living up to it? How much easier is life when we are behaving in accordance with our list of virtues? How much better do we feel about ourselves? How much better do others treat us when we live by these traits?

Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge