Also pay close attention if you're asked to do something new and you 'take to it like a duck to water.' This is a signal that it's tapped an innate talent.

You can also buy book and take excellent StrengthsFinder (tm) Profile (online) to find out your 5 signature themes.

The authors came up with 34 names for strengths and filled a real gap in our collective vocabulary. These are not terms like "trustworthy" or "dependable," but rather: Activator, WOO (Winning Others Over), Relator, Empathy, Strategic, Deliberativeness and Harmony.

We can become very good at something that isn't a strength, but can never reach excellence at it, and it will never give us perfect life we want and deserve. It will also be far more stressful.

In work world, it's one thing to be able to work in your areas of strength, and another to be managed properly or to manage properly. For instance if your top theme is Deliberative, as is Sue's, you can be one who comes up with all worst-case-scenarios, butyou should not be asked to make quick decisions. You'd also be an effective 'voice of reason' if put on a project team of fast-moving Activators.

Every report I read says that managers need to realize uniqueness of their reports, and treat them as individuals. If you're managing someone with Strategic, for instance, realize what a treasure you have. This person can sort through all clutter and find best route, and see patterns where others see chaos. It's a very special way of thinking that can't be learned or taught.

Talents + skill + knowledge = strengths. So how can you figure out your innate talents if you don't want to buy book and take profile? Here are some things to explore:

1. Think about what you liked to do as a child. Talents are innate; they appear early. 2. Ask your parents what you liked to do as a child. I suggest to clients that they ask their parents "What about me drove you nuts? What drove me nuts about my eldest son was that he was always tinkering - taking apart bikes, watches, putting together models, legos, little pieces everywhere. And what does he do quite happily as an adult? Calibrates $100,000 machines in his job as owner of a custom CD manufacturing plant. 3. Keep in mind that your parents were human, and they had their own "issues." For instance, D. A.'s father considered it effeminate for a man to be a minister, and so he disregarded traits in his son that made him (eventually) a happy and successful minister. 4. Parents can't recognize what they don't know. A mathematical genius born to two English majors may never get reinforcement for his talents. If you have a child like that, and see it, please find them someone who can affirm and value their talents so they don't feel alone. 5. Think about what you like to do when you have a choice. What would you volunteer to do? What do you do in your spare time? Paula always sneaks off and reads. Two of her themes are Intellection and Learner. She surfs Internet for information, and is happy at work doing market research and writing reports. 6. "Work like you don't need money..." -- what would you do even if you weren't paid to do it? You may already be doing it "for free," as I am in writing this article. 7. Flow. What activity do you 'get lost in'. You start doing it -- like working on your car, or empathizing with someone -- and you 'come to' 4 hours later having missed your lunch and your 2 o'clock appointment. What absorbs you fully? 8. What gives you deep satisfaction? If you haven't ever felt "deep satisfaction," (the zone) as many of us haven't, having been forced into certain jobs for various reasons, you'll have to do a little work on yourself to learn to hear that small, still, voice within.

I have another client whose profile is this: Achiever, Focus, Arranger, Command and Self-assurance. This is profile of someone who likes to be one in charge, and, yes, when I queried him, he remembered that he was always pitcher in baseball and always one to organize games and get everyone out there. This man had never worked on his own, and is now about halfway to starting his own restaurant. Is he happier? Oh, gosh, yes. Just at thought of it he's happier, and no, he doesn't want a partner.]

So that's how it works. Buckingham and Clifton are adamant that we need to focus on our strengths and ignore our weaknesses; become "sharp," not "well-rounded." This goes against grain, goes against SOP, goes against work world as it is today. But wouldn't you say it's time for a change?

You can get quite good at something that isn't a talent, even very good at something that's not a talent. Tom became a good fundraiser, but at what cost with this profile: Deliberative, Intellection, Strategic, Input, and Achiever. Ther isn't a "people-skill" in there, and boy was he stressed out.

Take some time to explore what your strengths are. Keep in mind that strengths are not a direct line to a specific career. In book there are nurses with Achiever, nurses with Empathy, nurses with Focus. And, conversely, everyone who has Relator for a strength is not a nurse.