Filters-What They Are, How To Avoid Them

Written by Jennifer Turner


Continued from page 1

Inrepparttar first instance, we're being told about her embarrassment, not how she behaves when embarrassed. Now, take another character, who perhaps becomes angry when she's embarrassed andrepparttar 129304 sentence would read like this:

"She clenched her fists and scowled, enraged he would embarrass her with such lewd comments."

By fixingrepparttar 129305 reader deeply intorepparttar 129306 character, there is no need to tell them she felt, or she saw,repparttar 129307 writer simply needs to show what that characters feels and sees. As in a character who has a background in fashion design might look at a sunset and see:

"The glowing sun castrepparttar 129308 landscape in vermillion and gold, a combination she could use inrepparttar 129309 fall designs."

Or another character, who is a romantic at heart, might seerepparttar 129310 same sight and think:

"The glowing sun castrepparttar 129311 landscape in vermillion and gold, a lush and perfect backdrop for her date's handsome face.

Neither ofrepparttar 129312 above would have quiterepparttar 129313 same impact ifrepparttar 129314 writer used:

"She sawrepparttar 129315 glowing sun castrepparttar 129316 landscape in vermillion and gold."

Working with you're characters, their experiences, and learning to show their thoughts rather than telling them, will enliven your work and carryrepparttar 129317 story torepparttar 129318 next level.

Author of dozens of articles and award winning short stories, Jennifer Turner offers caring and concise critiques for aspiring authors without the high cost of big business editorial services at, ROTO-WRITER CRITIQUE SERVICE http://jturner.00books.com/index.html


Dialogue Tags-A Study in Common Errors

Written by Jennifer Turner


Continued from page 1

Correct:

"I don't care if you kiss allrepparttar frogs inrepparttar 129302 world, you aren't bringing that toad to my party." Shelly glared, hands on hips.

Conjunction Tags

Incorrect:

"You look lovely in that dress," Biff said, "and I think you're going to berepparttar 129303 belle ofrepparttar 129304 ball."

Although this break is all right occasionally, it should be used with extreme caution. A better approach is to lend depth torepparttar 129305 moment atrepparttar 129306 break.

Correct:

"You look lovely in that dress." Biff leaned closer, his words a whisper against her flesh. "I think you're going to berepparttar 129307 belle ofrepparttar 129308 ball."

Showing Impact

Incorrect:

She wanted to scream, to run for help, but she remained frozen, like a trapped animal. "You killed him for money?"

"Exactly," he said.

"How could you?" She asked as adrenalin rushed movement back into her limbs and she backed away.

Obviously this is an excerpt from a larger scene. Byrepparttar 129309 timerepparttar 129310 reader finds this exchange, they'll be familiar with allrepparttar 129311 players. To add impact to a statement, it's sometimes best to leave a tag off entirely, especially with a two-character exchange.

Correct:

She wanted to scream, to run for help, but she remained frozen, like a trapped animal. "You killed him for money?"

"Exactly."

"How could you?" Adrenalin flooded her limbs and she backed away.

Multiple Tags

Incorrect:

"You have to understand," Sean said as he clenched her wrists tighter. His eyes darkened with a menacing plea as he stated, "He was evil, I had to do it."

In this paragraph, we are firmly in Sean's head byrepparttar 129312 action described inrepparttar 129313 middle, there is no need to explain he is still speaking.

Correct:

"You have to understand." Sean clenched her wrists tighter. His eyes darkened with a menacing plea. "He was evil, I had to do it."

As with any rules in writing, there are always exceptions. However, once you've changed any ofrepparttar 129314 problematic tags in your work to these more active and exciting tags, you'll findrepparttar 129315 pace of your work becomes faster andrepparttar 129316 work overall is much cleaner.



Author of dozens of articles and award winning short stories, Jennifer Turner offers caring and concise critiques for aspiring authors without the high cost of big business editorial services at, ROTO-WRITER CRITIQUE SERVICE http://jturner.00books.com/index.html


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