There was a lot to think about as we picked up our champagne at breakfast and then spent day smothered in sun cream, snoozing in sun.

I still love Christmas and Christian celebrations which remind us of its true meaning. It's shopping that gets me down. And to be quite honest I hadn't managed to avoid this - I just had to be more organised and distribute presents to friends and family well in advance of travelling to warmer climes. I suppose problem is I like giving presents to people - although I spend a good deal of time worrying about their appropriateness. So - I don't have a formula for present giving but I do try to cut down on spending without appearing to be scrooge, I try to support charities with what I buy, I try to simplify shopping process, I try to begin process early. And all you can do is try!

Am I correct in thinking that Christmas shopping still falls largely to female of species? Is it just women who begin worrying in February about buying for children or grandchildren. Is it female mind that sees something in June which would be 'perfect' for Aunt Mathilda at Christmas? The internet offers wonderful opportunities to ease pressure on shopping and having moved from a bustling city to a small island last year where choice is very limited this is a growing activity, not to say obsession in our household.

But is this way Christmas has to be for us?

www.femalematters.org

And finally, if you are in a correctional institution. You are NOT eligible for Social Security benefits while serving time.

You change your address and phone number and don't alert Social Security office. Makes sense if they can't find you then you are going to be denied on a technicality. Similar technicalities involve not completing paperwork fully or properly. It cannot be stressed enough that you MUST, absolutely, complete paperwork according to instructions and within specified time frame. If they ask you for a list of ALL your doctors, you need to list ALL you doctors. If they say list ALL your jobs for 15 years, you list ALL your jobs for past 15 years. Each piece of paper Social Security sends you is critical. It needs a response from you. This is not time to procrastinate or do something halfway. You MUST, MUST , MUST get this part right. You generally have 10 days to return forms. This means 10 days from when it was mailed from Social Security, NOT 10 days after you receive it. And you need to list ALL doctors, clinics, hospitals-- everyone you have seen for your condition. Give full names, addresses and phone numbers. Use internet, phone book or do your own research-- but if they can't find these places, they won't have records. And a decision could be made on only half story. It is YOUR responsibility to prove you are disabled. It is NOT Social Security's responsibility to prove you disabled. This is YOUR claim and it is YOU who needs to step up and take charge. A poor memory is not a reasonable excuse. You can enlist help of a third party, but it is ultimately your responsibility.

If you can't remember your jobs for past 15 years, call Social Security office and request a printout of all your jobs for past 15 years. This will help jog your memory so you can describe each job. Just because Social Security already knows you worked at McDonalds in 1990, that doesn't mean they know what job you performed there. It would take a different set of skills to be cook versus manager.

And don't assume Social Security knows what a cook has to lift and carry and how much they have to bend-- this must be described by YOU. Only YOU know how this job was performed.

Decisions are made based on function and not necessarily always a diagnosis. Social Security always looks at what you can still do despite your impairment. Shocking as it may seem, a diagnosis of cancer will not always get you allowed for Social Security disability benefits. Your doctor can write a letter explaining that you will be undergoing chemotherapy and radiation for breast cancer for next several months, and say outright you are unable to work-- and your claim can still be denied. There are many reasons for this, but it has a lot to do with type of cancer and your prognosis for survival. While you may be disabled and unable to work 11 of those months, by 12th month you may be able to perform a very sedentary job. Therefore, you will likely be found not disabled. While we're on this subject, although a letter from your doctor is helpful, most doctors don't know how to write an effective letter to Social Security. If your doctor has agreed to write you a letter, it must contain your functional capacity despite your impairment. That means, it must spell out exactly how much you can lift/ carry, stand/walk, etc. Your doctor should follow format outlined in Dictionary of Occupational Titles, which is also online http://www.oalj.dol.gov/libdot.htm

Your doctor must be able to support his/her opinion with objective findings that support that opinion. Generally, that means he/she needs to send all chart notes, tests, exams, etc. His/ her opinion should be one that would be a reasonable conclusion based on your diagnosis and remaining functional capacity. Sad as this may sound, if you can still sit and push a button- you may not be disabled according to Social Security guidelines.

Additionally, your doctors need to have credentials recognized by Social Security. Generally, that means an MD or DO for physical problems and a PHD or PSYD for mental problems. There are others, depending on impairment- which you can look up on SSA website.

You fail to attend a Consultative Exam scheduled by Social Security. Be prepared to be examined by an independent Medical Examiner. Social Security will inform you if they want you to attend an exam. You MUST attend this exam and cooperate fully- or your claim will likely be denied. This exam is not for treatment, it is only to examine you so that Social Security can make an accurate decision on your claim. This examiner will share those results with Social Security. The usual doctor-patient relations will not be established and your confidentiality is compromised by fact that Social Security will have access to these exam results. If you cannot make this appointment, for whatever reason, you need to call SSA right away and reschedule.

So, there you have it- 10 top ways to get denied right out of gate. Of course, there are occasional exceptions to above, but generally this is how it works. Fail this test and you will find yourself holding a denial letter in your hand and wondering "WHY?"

How Social Security makes disability decisions is not mysterious. In fact, information is more readily available to public than how search engines really rank websites.

There is a myth that says you have to apply for benefits 3 times before being approved. This is absolutely NOT TRUE. This myth has been perpetuated because it generally takes 3 tries before an applicant understands how to maneuver system (or applicant's condition worsens, he/she ages or there are other vocational factors that change). And that's not because it's hard, it's because they don't take time to get informed about program and process.

Not getting properly prepared is like trying to run Boston Marathon without any previous training. You are generally going to fail and be sorely disappointed.

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