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Cry. If you feel like crying, give yourself permission to do this.
Write or draw from this feeling place. Donít censor yourself, let feeling do writing or drawing.
Say out loud what you need to say to someone.
Tell someone supportive how you are feeling.
It's too much for me. I can't take it any more. What do I do?
1. Comfort and reassure yourself:
Talk to yourself as you would a friend. Be gentle and kind.
Reassure yourself with whatever you need to hear, for example, "Iím okay, Iím safe."
Curl up in a comfortable chair/bed with a blanket, a warm drink, a good book, or watch a show on T.V.
Do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself to something special, take a bubble bath, go to a spa, get a massage.
Talk to a supportive friend. Ask for what you need.
2. Take a break from your feelings:
Sometimes feelings become overwhelming and you need a break from them. This doesn't mean denying that they are there, only that you need a break and will come back to them later when you are rested. After taking a break, it is important to come back to your feelings. They may have changed, and that's okay.
Create a safe inner place. Let your imagination create an image of something(s) that represents how you are feeling right now. It may be concrete or abstract. Take your time, let your imagination develop this fully. Then imagine a protective bubble around this image, separating yourself from it. Look at image. Notice that it is still there, but separate from you. Your feelings are still there, but you are not in them right now. You have a choice, you don't have to be in your feelings right now. Let yourself take break that you need. Taking this break will mean that you will be better able to deal with them later. You may want to imagine yourself in a safe place -- any image that you choose.
Remember times when you felt good. Let yourself relax and get comfortable. Breathe gently. Remember a time when you felt good, loved or calm. It could be something that really happened, or something that you create, like being near a waterfall. Imagine being in this situation or with this person, and feel all of those pleasant feelings. Feel your body shift from what you were feeling, letting those feelings go. Let yourself feel more relaxed, comforted or at peace. Stay with this memory or image until you feel really connected to it.
Exercise vigorously. This can help you to relax, feel energized, and generally feel better.
Do something that relaxes you.
Do something that absorbs your attention fully. This can help you to shift out of how you are feeling.
Get a change of scenery. If you have been at home or in same room a lot, maybe you need to get out, even if only for a walk around block. Change your patterns. If you always go home after work only to feel stuck in your feelings, maybe you need to do something different -- go see a concert, a movie, or have dinner out, something that makes you feel good. Doing things to take care of yourself alone may be better than going home alone.
It's not always easy to stay with your feelings, but it can be rewarding when you do.
© Kali Munro, 2000. http://www.KaliMunro.com
Kali Munro, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist in private practice in Toronto, Canada. She has twenty years experience specializing in a variety of issues including sexual abuse, relationships, sexuality, eating disorders, and body image. She provides individual and couple therapy in Toronto, as well as online. She offers free healing resources at her web site about relationships, abuse, sexuality, and much more. Check out her inspiring and healing site www.KaliMunro.com