The stories you tell them will ultimately be comforting. That you have had these struggles and have come back and recovered is encouragement to them; your kids will need a truckload of encouragement to navigate their way through life.

It is truly a gift to be able to communicate to your children what is in your heart through use of stories. Stories can not only be used as a vehicle to pass along your values, but they are likely to inspire your children to repeat same process with their children.

Here are five suggestions to help you come up with stories for your children:

1.Tell stories to your kids when they are most attentive to them--when they are in bed, or settled down so they can sit still for awhile.

2.Make sure to include stories of you failing miserably. These are particularly useful to your kids. We’ve all got a few of these, don’t we?

3.Have your parents tell your children some of their own stories if they are able--a great way to show connection that exists between generations.

4.Use stories to answer your kids’ questions about difficult issues. They need to know that you have faced these issues yourself, and that there are many choices available.

5.Realize that you don’t need a history of storytelling in your family to get started, and you don’t need to be a great storyteller. Give some thought to experiences you’ve had that might relate to some of issues your kids are facing right now or in near future.

There is a short window of opportunity in which to tell your children stories of your life. Many fathers fail to tell their stories because of a lack of a story-telling tradition in their family of origin. This can be a wonderful opportunity to begin your own tradition with your own stories.

It’s also a great opportunity to contribute to moral upbringing of your kids by telling them stories of your life. The lessons within these stories can provide some of moral anchor for your kids in a world that doesn’t often provide many moral anchors.

Teaching your kids about life through telling your stories will be more effective than lecturing your kids any day of week. Your kids will want to hear your stories, lecturing they could probably do without.

May your stories live on eternally.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, is the author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers” (http://www.markbrandenburg.com/e_book.htm#secrets. For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, “Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.

As we collect these important memories, it seems worthwhile to discuss how it is that you remember them--both for yourself and for your children. Here are some ideas:

•Write a letter to each of your children, in which you remember experiences you had with them and also some reflections on what you were experiencing while they grew up. It can be a valuable way to remember these experiences, and also a wonderful gift to your children when they get older.

•Regularly tell your children about some of most memorable times you‘ve had with them and some of entertaining/funny things that they said or did. Kids love to hear stories about themselves from their dad or mom, so have a boatload of them on hand.

•Form rituals around your children whenever possible, whether it’s for some event in their life or a changing of season. Using rituals will be a great way for all of you to remember these things and to make them more meaningful.

•Start your own parenting journal in which you chronicle joys and struggles of being a father. It will not only give you a priceless piece of reading years down road, but will help you to better understand yourself as you reflect on your own joys and struggles.

•Encourage your children to start their own journal when they are old enough. This is a great way for your kids to help themselves process their own feelings. They’ll be more likely to do it if they see you’re doing it as well.

Many fathers lament speed with which their kids grew up and were out of house. They feel that they’d like to have more to remember of their children while they grew up.

Videos and pictures are certainly valuable ways to remember your kids, but they don’t capture what you were experiencing during those years. Keeping a written record of your reflections during these years will provide you with a valuable way to capture these experiences.

There’s going to be a time, soon after your kids leave home, when all you’ll be able to “hold” is your memories of them.

May you find a way to hold them that honors precious times.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, is the author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers” (http://www.markbrandenburg.com/e_book.htm#secrets. For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, “Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.