Family Ties – When to Let Go

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


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Ruth was a shining light of love. Her eyes, her smile, her gestures all radiated love and compassion. Her deeply gentle and peaceful nature was evident at first glance.

“Why? Why don’t they like me?” she asked.

“Because you are a giver and they are takers,” I told her. ‘Givers care about others, while takers just want to take from others. You can never give enough to a taker to receive any caring back, because they don’t like themselves. They reject themselves and try to get others to give to them. Because they have emotionally abandoned themselves, they are angry at others for not giving enough to them. Your mother and brother were united in their taking from you, as were your first husband and son. They look at you and see a fountain of love coming from you and they want it, but they are incapable of receiving it. Your light contrasts with their darkness and they hate you for it.”

“But what can I do?”

“Nothing, other than not be around them. They will suckrepparttar life out of you if you allow them to spend time with you. I know you care about them, but they are incapable of caring about themselves or you, so you have to let them go. It is not in your highest good to be with people who are incapable of valuing you – who just want to take from you.”

“But can’t I help them?”

“No, because they are not asking for help. I know you have believed that if you just love them enough, they will heal and love you back, but this will never happen because they are not open to your love. They feel inadequate inrepparttar 126104 face of your open heart and their closed hearts, and they take their self-judgment out on you. There is nothing you can to do to help them open their hearts. Only they can do that. It is unlikely your mother or brother will ever open their hearts, but perhaps your son will in time. He will come to you if he does.”

“But I have such a great life now. Isn’t it selfish of me to just let them go?”

“No, it is self-responsible. It is not loving to yourself to be around people who treat you badly.”

Ruth understood. She felt sad, but relieved. She finally saw that all she could do was pray for them to open their hearts.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.


What is the Treatment for Bipolar Disorder?

Written by Michael G. Rayel, MD


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If these measures don’t help andrepparttar depression is so severe, an antidepressant withrepparttar 126103 least risk to induce mania such as bupropion should be added torepparttar 126104 mood stabilizer. Whenrepparttar 126105 depression is resolved, thenrepparttar 126106 antidepressant can be gradually tapered off because its prolonged use even inrepparttar 126107 presence of mood stabilizer can still induce mania.

When shouldrepparttar 126108 medication be discontinued? Bipolar patients have to continue takingrepparttar 126109 medication for several months even after they become normal. High relapse rate is common if medications are prematurely stopped. Also, for patients with multiple or difficult-to-treat episodes, they may need to takerepparttar 126110 medication for years or even for life to prevent recurrence.

Patients and their physicians should thoroughly discussrepparttar 126111 risk and benefits of any treatment intervention. Knowledge aboutrepparttar 126112 drug’s indication, side effects, and prognosis with or without treatment is a must.

Furthermore, it is crucial that bipolar patients should also receive individual psychotherapy to help them deal withrepparttar 126113 many personal and psychosocial issues they face on a daily basis. As you know, medication alone won’t suffice to address financial problems, marital conflict, work issues, and prior abuse.

In summary,repparttar 126114 combination of medication and psychotherapy isrepparttar 126115 best treatment for bipolar disorder.



Copyright © 2004. Dr. Michael G. Rayel – author (First Aid to Mental Illness–Finalist, Reader’s Preference Choice Award 2002) psychiatrist, and inventor of Oikos Game: A Personal Development and Emotional Skills Game. For more information, please visit www.oikosgame.com.




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