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Ruth was a shining light of love. Her eyes, her smile, her gestures all radiated love and compassion. Her deeply gentle and peaceful nature was evident at first glance.
“Why? Why don’t they like me?” she asked.
“Because you are a giver and they are takers,” I told her. ‘Givers care about others, while takers just want to take from others. You can never give enough to a taker to receive any caring back, because they don’t like themselves. They reject themselves and try to get others to give to them. Because they have emotionally abandoned themselves, they are angry at others for not giving enough to them. Your mother and brother were united in their taking from you, as were your first husband and son. They look at you and see a fountain of love coming from you and they want it, but they are incapable of receiving it. Your light contrasts with their darkness and they hate you for it.”
“But what can I do?”
“Nothing, other than not be around them. They will suck life out of you if you allow them to spend time with you. I know you care about them, but they are incapable of caring about themselves or you, so you have to let them go. It is not in your highest good to be with people who are incapable of valuing you – who just want to take from you.”
“But can’t I help them?”
“No, because they are not asking for help. I know you have believed that if you just love them enough, they will heal and love you back, but this will never happen because they are not open to your love. They feel inadequate in face of your open heart and their closed hearts, and they take their self-judgment out on you. There is nothing you can to do to help them open their hearts. Only they can do that. It is unlikely your mother or brother will ever open their hearts, but perhaps your son will in time. He will come to you if he does.”
“But I have such a great life now. Isn’t it selfish of me to just let them go?”
“No, it is self-responsible. It is not loving to yourself to be around people who treat you badly.”
Ruth understood. She felt sad, but relieved. She finally saw that all she could do was pray for them to open their hearts.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org. Phone sessions available.