As I grow older I notice that my wife has those same looks that my mom does, and it scares me. I thought I had seen every look that there was to be seen, at least once. I have a mother, I have a wife, and for extra torture in my life God saw to it that I have a thirteen-year-old daughter whose face is ALWAYS twisted into some kind of look or another. Of course, I am wrong about knowing all of looks, but I’m ALWAYS wrong, and old and fat and bald—just ask my daughter. Or don’t ask her; she’ll tell you anyway.

I know looks better than most folks, and I’m pretty good at calming down tense situations. I’d even say that I am an expert. If a woman is sad, I can do a little cheering-up magic, or, at very least, just make her mad enough to want to kick me. Face it: I’m blessed. But problem with being an expert is that sooner or later you’ll get humbled.

There is a certain look on a mother’s face that a child will never see, and I’m glad for it. I saw it for first time other day at a funeral, and it nearly broke my heart. Children see all looks that a mother has to offer, except one—the one they wear when you die before they do.

I could find no words to speak to this woman, nor could my eyes find courage to stay off of ground. I wasn’t alone in shadow of cowardice, which told me that she was. And though there were others who have shared her experience, she would remain alone. Time would heal—that’s what preacher said—but nothing would be same. Everyone knows that.

As I consider my own fragile relationship with my mother, it is clear to me that this distance will ultimately separate us. Who of us, I wonder, will cross this void first? Never will I hold look that woman at funeral bore, for I know nothing of bond a mother feels between herself and her child, only that which a child feels for his mother. Is look that a child carries different from what I have seen? I do not know and do not wish to. Denial lends but weak hands where reality lives, yet softens its bitter edges none less.

Do I prepare myself for this face to come? Will being prepared enable me to avoid another slide down a wall into black? Perhaps, but I fear that this embrace may take me further into darkness that I hope to avoid.

If I listen to my heart, I know that there is but one path in this life. The path is of present, where I know my mother to be, and I will walk with her as far as trail leads. Anything else would be a lie—or perhaps a sin—if I did not appreciate what life has given me: my mother.

1. Make a plan and stick with it.

Write down on your calendar what needs to be done and by when. This will keep you on track, as things become increasingly hectic.

2. Having a Hallmark Christmas would be wonderful, but let's be realistic.

More than likely not everything is going to turn out to be just way you planned. Don't try to make everything perfect. Do best you can, and let rest go.

3. Not everything has to be homemade.

In today's world, some of best goodies and treats can be found in your supermarket. Decide which two or three cookies and candies you will make. Select one day or evening to bake and make, box or freeze goodies, and call it done.

4. Make a budget and stick with it.

If you are one of those organized savers that opens a Holiday Club account at your local bank, all you have to do is go to bank and pick up your money. If you are like rest of us, decide how much you can take out of your current budget. If you plan on using credit cards, decide how much you will charge, and keep track. Remember that you do have to pay them back beginning in January.

5. Homemade cards are wonderful, but do you really have time?

Unless you began making your cards in June, forget it. Buying them will be just fine. Including a handwritten note in each one is a nice touch; however, unless you started six months ago, let it go. I know many people disdain those form holiday letters, but they are better than receiving a card that is simply signed Don and Diane. Since holiday cards are only time we hear from some people, including a holiday letter helps us keep in touch with our once-a-year friends.

6. You do not have to attend every holiday event.

Limit number of holiday events you will attend. You simply don't have time to go to every single party, tree decorating event, and craft show that will be happening during this busy time of year. Decide what you want to attend, RSVP in advance, and enjoy.

7. If you are hosting a party or holiday dinner, don't try to cook it all.

If you are hosting a holiday event, consider having some, if not all, of it catered. If that isn't in budget this year, ask guest to bring their favorite dish to share. This way you will only have to provide some of food and will have time and energy to enjoy your guest.

8. Ask for help.

You don't have to do everything. Get family involved. Everything is more fun when done with others. Get help decorating tree, baking goodies, and addressing cards.

9. Don't forget to take care of yourself.

The holidays are not time to abandon your routine. Keep going to gym, eating healthy foods, and taking time to relax. The holidays can be stressful and keeping up with our self-care will help to reduce stress and allow us to enjoy season.

10. Remember what holidays are all about.

Beyond gifts and glitter, this holiday is really about connecting with friends and family, and celebrating love we have in our lives. Keep in mind what is important about this time of year. Celebrate important things and relax in joy of season.