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In order to be influential, develop people, build consensus, and share a vision effectively, a leader must be an effective communicator. This means learning how to read people, how to be an active listener, and how to present in such a way that
other person best understands. A good understanding of Social Styles, along with putting this knowledge to work is essential in mastering communication. On issue of high personal integrity, it can be viewed like an on off switch, which affects everything else. Inotherwords, no matter how good a communicator you are, no matter how proficient you are at leadership skills, and no matter what your purpose/vision, if you are perceived as lacking integrity, everything else will be discounted. Effective leadership, communication and people skills mean nothing unless backed by high personal integrity
Those points out of way, let’s return to answer question of how to improve one’s Relationship Management skills. There are several challenges to improving competencies necessary for effective relationship management.
1.How We Process Information We process information – knowledge, technical information, etc. in neo-cortex portion of our brains. We have ability to absorb this type of information and put it to use immediately. For instance, if we read about a technique to use on a spreadsheet application, we can immediately begin using it. However, we process our emotions and our sense of things in amygdala portion of our brain, and this part of our brain works differently than our neo-cortex. This part of our brain manages our emotions and our habits. In order to make any changes in this realm, we need to break old habits and to form new ones. This isn’t about learning new things and applying them. It’s about intentionally changing old patterns and about intentionally creating new ones. These changes generally take an ongoing effort and a period of time to achieve. Because of this, improving Relationship Management skills requires a sustained effort and not just an injection of knowledge from a class, book or workshop.
2.Blind Spots Since issues we’re dealing with are ones of habit, we’re often blind to our own triggers and reactions. We often aren’t aware of how we habitually behave. Because of this, it’s very difficult to identify, let alone change, those habits we’d prefer to change without outside input – an outside observer. In addition, this observer needs to be someone without an agenda so that feedback can be received without becoming defensive.
3.Old Habits Since competencies we’re trying to improve upon are generally those based in habit, it’s difficult often to be aware of when we act in a way we’d rather not. It’s pretty important to have someone in background to help you see events and behaviors you’d prefer to change.
A person can improve their Relationship Management skills, but it takes a real desire to change, a clear picture of competencies that require improvement, and support from someone or some group to help guide change and keep person on track.
The payoff? The result is exceptional leadership which inspires best effort in others, creates greater satisfaction, produces increased results and improves world. Not bad…
Written by Michael Beck, President of Exceptional Leadership, Inc. a firm which develops high-performance leaders through leadership enhancement and executive coaching. Michael can be reached at 877-977-8956 or mbeck@XLeaders.com , and you can learn more about the company and these ideas at www.XLeaders.com Permission to reprint with full attribution. © 2004 Exceptional Leadership, Inc.
