H.Help! I'm not just a blend of two types - I can see traits of three! This is where temperament tests can be useful as well as talking with someone familiar with temperament theory. If we inherit temperament then it's certainly possible to inherit a blend of three temperament types.

I.What are quick "cues" that I can use to "read" a person's temperament? Again, phlegmatic will be calm, quiet and easygoing. The melancholy will be precise, analytical and critical in conversation. A sanguine will always be most verbal and will often be a "toucher". The choleric will be straightforward, even abrupt and most easily angered.

J.I hate my job! Is that a temperament thing? If you dislike job because it doesn't "fit" your type, then yes it may be temperament related. List those things you dislike about job (i.e. relationships, tasks, etc., NOT "it doesn't pay enough".) and compare them to your temperamental strengths and weaknesses. This should give you insight into whether or not your job dislike is temperamental.

K.I love my husband (wife, child) but I can't stand certain traits. How can I change them? Again, you cannot change a person's temperament type any more than you can change their eye color. Real change comes when a person sees need to change and not before. Externally forced change is never real and can cause unhappiness and friction. Encourage other's natural strengths and discourage their natural weaknesses. Realize that you may cause same feelings in others that do not have your temperament.

L.How do different temperament systems match up? Am I a choleric, a "D", or an "SJ"? There are many different "systems" of temperament classification. There are even those that compare a temperament to different animals. The three most common systems include one used here - choleric, sanguine, melancholy and phlegmatic, as well as Meyers-Briggs Temperament Indicator which uses sixteen combinations of traits and includes Guardian, Artisan, Rational, and idealist. The DiSC system is similar to first system where Decisive is choleric, influencer is Sanguine, Steady is phlegmatic and Conscientious is Melancholy.

M.Is my temperament my personality? Or other way round? What's difference? Temperament is canvas, personality is painting. The temperament is foundation, personality is building. Taking your basic temperament, you add life experience, culture, education, and upbringing to form your personality.

N.How do temperaments relate to a person's anger and fear? Everyone experiences fear and anger. The phlegmatic experiences most fear and choleric most anger. The melancholy fears being out of control of situations and Sanguine has quick, hot flashes of anger that pass as quickly as they start.

O.Do men and women's temperaments differ substantially? Temperament is temperament. There are choleric men and choleric women. There are sanguine women and sanguine men. Gender is only one of many environmental factors that influence behavior. Others include upbringing, culture, education, etc.

P. If I can't change my temperament, then what good is it to know about it? Understanding temperament has many benefits such as understanding others better or being able to communicate more easily with temperament types that are different from yours. But while you cannot change your temperament type, all of us CAN change our behaviors. Knowing your temperamental weaknesses can help you reduce their impact on your life. Knowing your temperamental strengths can help you release them more into your everyday life. Feed your strengths and starve your weaknesses. Understand how your temperament impacts other types of individuals and adapt accordingly. If you have questions about your temperament, write me at email address below.

Hal Warfield is a professional speaker, teacher and coach. Write him at warfield@midsouth.rr.com. Or visit www.halwarfield.com

L:Laugh out loud. You'll be amazed at looks you get. And you'll feel better.

I:Insist on optimism. Positive mental health comes from ability to reframe a situation. This is not Pollyanna or head-in-sand avoidance of reality but rather a recall of ways in which you have handled similar situations.

E:Extend yourself to others. Self-absorption backfires. It only serves to deepen depression and worry. Going out to serve others lifts cloud around yourself and allows you to become both blessed and a blessing.

N:Never say "never". The resilient spirit knows that there is always tomorrow.

T:Thanks-give it! There is much to be grateful for.

(c) 2002 by Eileen McDargh. All rights reserved.